Are You Programmed to HAVE to Struggle?

Struggle-Hands-Holding-On-SmallI’ve had a lot of time to contemplate life – my life and life in general – since my surgery on January 14th. And one of the things that I started really thinking about is how life can be a struggle.

If you’ve followed me for very long, you know I believe that we can heal from just about anything. And I have. But my dogged determination that I could heal this thing by myself actually got me in to quite a fix! Ultimately that stubborn focus created even greater struggle in my life.

By the time I’d finally contacted my surgeon and got in to see him, I was barely able to walk from one end of my home to the other – and I required a walker to do it. In fact, the damage was so extensive, my right leg was more than two inches shorter than my left! Yikes!

In retrospect that was more than determination, it was really about stubborn disregard for the facts, and turning a blind eye to my own care and well-being. Exactly the opposite of what I teach! (Yes, I see the incongruence there, believe me!)

Thanks to my monthly membership group, I realized it was also a subconscious program of HAVING to struggle. The brilliant members of my group and I started to dig into the universal belief that at our core, we are programmed to HAVE to struggle – even if there might be an easier way.

The fact was that I needed help. Outside medical, western medicine help. (There, I admitted it!) And thank GOD that it was available! 100 years ago, I would have had to just live in excruciating pain and suffering – and utter disability. Struggling every day. Not a pretty picture, to say the least!

In the dictionary, struggle is defined as:

  1. to contend with an adversary or opposing force.
  2. to contend resolutely with a task, problem, etc.; strive: to struggle for existence.
  3. to advance with violent effort: to struggle through the snow.
  4. to make one’s way with violent effort.

Obviously, struggle is the opposite of ease, flow and grace. When we are struggling, we are disconnected from the flow of the divine. We are forcing a certain agenda in our lives for a specific outcome and not allowing new opportunities for healing and transformation into our lives. Additionally there is a component of violence that is just opposite our desires for happiness and well-being.

So what does struggle look like in your life? Are you even aware that you are struggling? I wasn’t! To me it looked like focused determination to overcome physical pain. (OK – so that is struggling!)

Do you have to struggle to make ends meet every month? Do you struggle with your weight? Do you struggle to make a relationship work? Do you struggle with guilt, shame, overwhelm, addiction, self-loathing, jealousy, etc? What is your unique flavor of having to struggle?

14991655_sWhat do you get from having to struggle? Are you like me, feeling triumphant when you hurtled huge obstacles? Is there an addiction to being triumphant?

Since our last group coaching session, I’ve become much more cognizant of what struggle really looks like. How hidden programs of struggle – HAVING to struggle, to be exact – have been sabotaging my personal happiness, health and wellbeing. Even my finances! It’s almost like an addiction to overcoming obstacles!

In my mind’s eye, I allowed myself to go back through my own life, recalling family stories of struggle and having to overcome big hurdles. I’ve been looking at the news and societal issues. And I’ve been astonished at just HOW MUCH we all believe we need to struggle, rather than allow good into our lives.

In a meditation, I got to see how, from the beginning of life on this planet, we have been programmed to struggle. For food, for existence, for shelter, for our country, for our RIGHTS (that’s a big one!), for our ability to be ourselves.

Over the next weeks, I will be exploring and writing more about this all-consuming subject. I want to challenge you to begin examining your own life and observing how struggle might be impacting you. Start to journal about it. And start doing the Quantum Soul Clearing Process when you find struggle programs that are sabotaging your best efforts for success.

You might also consider joining my monthly membership program to help you explore and release these powerful, hidden determinants to your happiness, wholeness and success. You can learn more about the group membership program here:

I would love to hear from you! Let me know what types of struggles you are observing in your life and how much time, energy and life-force you are spending just dealing with the struggle. What and how are you not allowing more ease into your life? Let’s release this energy and co-create something much more life-enhancing!

Here’s to a life of greater freedom, ease, flow and grace!

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  1. Sharon Burge says:

    Yes, apparently I am programmed to struggle and from birth or before. To make a long story short, I feel like I’ve been “in survival” with relationships and money all my life…working my butt off to exist and never thriving. I am 71 years old…not ashamed of my life but truly tired and puzzled that my intentions and self examination and work have not resulted in better relationships and enough money to live with some ease. Presently, everything I own is at risk. And, it’s not that I haven’t asked for help from the universe.

    • Michelle says:

      Thank you for sharing your experiences, Sharon. You are certainly not alone! I cannot tell you how often I’ve heard this – and even experienced some of it myself! Often, despite our best efforts and hard work, we are subconsciously sabotaged by these insidious energies. It can feel confusing and very frustrating! We’ll be talking about this more in depth for a while and I’ll offer some very specific solutions to help release these painful energies. It is time that all of us begin to experience something different. We deserve great ease, flow and grace. I hope you’ll join me for the upcoming monthly call series that starts March 20th! We’ll be shifting out and transformation these stuck, unsupportive energies!

      Here’s to your prosperity – and the prosperity of humanity!

      Countless Blessings,

  2. Hi Michelle – I am really glad to hear that you are feeling so much better, and I wish you a speedy return to your fullest possible health! Thank you so much for sharing about your struggles – just reading what you have written has allowed me to understand far better my beliefs about struggle and its place in my life – sayings like “Life’s a bitch and then you die” come to mind – or how pain and suffernng are somehow good for us and that nothing worthwihile is eeasy “easy come – easy go” and so on. My parents were teens/twenties in the 2nd World War and their parents went through the First World War – so the belief that struggle was a normal part of life was very strong in my inheritance! But I am learning how to be good to myself now and your example is so meanigingful – again, thank you.
    With move and light – Michelle H

    • Michelle says:

      Thank you Michelle! It’s been such a profound awareness for me, as well, when it comes the subject of struggle – and just how much I’d been programmed myself! This subject of struggle is going to be the topic of discussion for several weeks. I am also putting together a whole brand new program to help people break through this programming so we can live happier, healthier, more joyful lives. Watch your thoughts and experiences over the next days and weeks, and notice how much you, too, have probably been programmed to struggle. It can be blatant or very subtle – but is there and controlling almost everyone in some form or anther.

      Thank you for taking the time to share your insights and for your kind words of support and encouragement.

      Countless Blessings,

  3. Wow! What an amazing article!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It really put a new light on why we struggle and why I myself have to go through hard things. It helped me understand that I’m not alone in daily struggles. I personally struggle with self-confidence. I feel a tug all the time of me fighting myself on my self-worth.

    I’m just starting to learn how I can win this tug-of-war against myself. I have come to a conclusion for myself and for other people of what works. It’s to be happy. If you see the bigger picture of what you are struggling with, there is a brighter hope. If you take notice of the little, itty-bitty, often overlooked, miracles in your life, you will find that your struggles are a little more lighter and endurable.

    I wonder what your thoughts are on this. Do you think that could work for other people?

    • Hi Haleigh,
      Thank you for your comments and for connecting here with me! You are definitely not alone in your struggle to feel self-worth. In fact, almost everyone has some form of self-worth limitation they feel. It can be debilitating or fleeting. It depends on the person.

      I agree that happiness is a choice. But often, that choice feels like it’s been hijacked and then people aren’t sure how to get back on track. Prayer, belief in a Higher Power, Counseling, Personal Inner Work, all help clear out the negativity. But I’ve never found anything quite like the Quantum Soul Clearing Process to help eliminate that nagging, inner tug of war. It’s a Spiritual technology that is designed to work with the individuals personal belief systems, no matter what faith or background the individual has. It’s application, when done from a place of pure connection, is wide-reaching.

      If you’d like more information about how it can help you, please feel free to reach out and drop me a personal note at I’d love to hear from you!

      Countless Blessings,

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