Abandonment: The High Cost of Low Self-Worth – Part 4

Last month we talked about some of the ways that the low self-worth program of “I don’t feel safe” might be impacting your life.

Today let’s talk about the program of “Abandonment.”  This program, running in the background of the subconscious mind, can cause all kinds of havoc!  If you’ve ever experienced being abandoned by a family member, a loved one, God, or friends, you know that awful feeling of being rejected, feeling unloved, worthless, completely alone, without help or resources to bring you any comfort.

abandonment

Being abandoned is one of the most vulnerable feelings we can experience, especially as a small child, because we don’t have the physical, mental, emotional or financial resources to be able to take care of ourselves.  It makes us question everything about ourselves and our place in the world, and can have a lasting impact throughout our lives.

I have worked with hundreds of people who have experienced being abandoned in early childhood.  Some were adopted.  Others, by parents who were active alcoholics or drug addicts.  Some were left to physically fend for themselves at the ages of two, three, and four years old – some with even younger siblings they h
d to care for – while their parents went out to get high or drunk.  Then having to deal with the effects of scary, abusive or “overly affectionate” behavior from those same parents who were supposed to love, care for, and nurture them and were anything but.

Having to learn how to simply cope with the terror of being abandoned with no food, in dark homes, with no care giver can obviously leave profound imprints on those who have experienced this type of abandonment.  Many of my clients still struggle to feel loved, to be able to find an emotional connection to others, and to feel secure enough to follow their dreams and passions, and develop their inherent personal gifts.

Not everyone, of course, has experienced those types of abandonment extremes.  Sometimes being accidentally left somewhere by a parent or friend can trigger abandonment issues.  Having parents who are so busy with work, or a physical illness, that there is little time left over for children rearing can also feel like abandonment.  Having a spouse who travels extensively can make you feel like you’ve been abandoned, even if there is constant communication between the two of you.

There are countless ways that we can feel abandoned.  Some are big, some are small, but the energy of abandonment always impacts us in unseen ways.

One of the ways that being abandoned can show up with a real twist, though, is when we abandon ourselves.  If the energy of abandonment is not resolved, we can continue the pattern of abandonment by not taking care of ourselves – or even unconsciously physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually or financially abandoning those we love, as well.  That can look like:

  • Not eating healthy foods
  • Not getting enough exercise
  • Not getting medical or mental health care when we don’t feel well
  • Not getting proper medical or mental health care for those in our care
  • Not taking time to nurture and be with ourselves
  • Abandoning our dreams because “life gets in the way”
  • Allow other people’s agendas for our lives to become more important than what we really want for ourselves
  • Not knowing how or being able to say “NO” when we want and need to
  • Emotionally, mentally, physically tuning out of our lives through over-work, substance abuse, chaos, over-commitment, or any other type of addiction
  • Not being fully present and conscious of what we are doing – living anywhere but the present
  • Not saying “YES” to our education, dreams, goals, and gifts
  • Not following through – leaving things undone or procrastinating
  • Not knowing how to allow ourselves to really love and support ourselves, our spouses and our children
  • Numbing out so that we don’t have to feel too much – being emotionally unavailable
  • Unconsciously sabotaging a great career so that you get fired or feel like you have to leave
  • Unconsciously sabotaging your relationships so that you always feel left behind

These are just a few of the ways that we can abandon ourselves and those whom we truly love.  As you go through the next days and weeks, I challenge you to keep a journal and explore how you might be feeling abandoned by others or by yourself.  How you might be abandoning others.

loveIf abandonment energy is present, clear it.  Identify what other energies it might be triggering and clear those, too!  Then see how much more energy you have to infuse your life with what you want to experience.  Fill it with more love, more joy, more compassion for yourself and others.  Infuse your life with the energy of presence and purpose of connection and belonging.

As always, I love to hear from you.  Let me know how you’re doing.  Tell me how you’ve identified this pattern in your life and what has transpired since you’ve taken action to heal it.

If you need help getting to the bottom of abandonment issues and energies, consider joining our monthly membership club!  We meet twice a month for group clearing work!  It’s uplifting, healing and fun.  And it’s an opportunity to be part of a growing community of like-minded people who are just like you – wanting to live fully, joyously, abundantly and connected!  For more information click here.

Learning to Feel Safe – The High Cost of Low Self-Worth and Self Esteem Part 3

iStock_000011640561SmallLast month we began a deep discussion of the power of our hidden low self-worth and self-esteem programs and how they are affecting our lives.  Today I want to talk about one of the hidden self-worth programs of not feeling safe, and some ways that might be impacting your life.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you feel safe?
  • Do you feel safe and secure in your home?
  • Do you feel safe as you drive your car or take the bus or the subway?
  • Do you feel safe in an airplane?
  • Do you feel safe and secure financially?
  • Do you feel safe and secure in your job or career?
  • Do you feel safe to be the REAL you?
  • Is it safe to try something new and different?
  • Is it safe to spend money or is it safer to save for “a rainy day?”
  • Do you feel like you’ve been abandoned?
  • Do you feel judged?
  • Have you been bullied or ridiculed?

If you have answered “no” to any of these questions, or “yes” to the last three on the list – or if other ways you don’t feel safe got triggered while answering these questions! – we may have identified one of the ways that hidden low self-worth or self-esteem  programs might be tripping you up.

iStock_000017959802XSmall“There are a lot of really scary people out there,” was something that I heard often as a kid.  Followed closely by, “You just can’t trust anyone!”  Perhaps you’ve heard those same sentiments, as well.

Those two statements begin programming that can have deep implications throughout your life.  They keep you from trusting yourself and others.  They create an energetic space of fear and distrust that is held in the unconscious mind that the world, in general is a very scary place.   It implies that you should be fearful of all the terrible things that could possibly happen – and your brain is then trained to look for fearful, scary people and events.  It creates an energy of anxious expectation that something bad will happen.

I’m not saying that there aren’t some people who act in terrible ways.

But let’s put some things into perspective.  The population of the US is about 325,000,000 people – give or take a few hundred thousand.  The number of violent crimes in 2011 (the last data available) was 1,200,000 and down by 9.7% from 2010.   That means that less than .0037 percent of the population committed violent crimes (providing that each of these crimes had different perpetrators).  Yes, this an profound over-simplification, and it doesn’t include property crimes, etc.

Property crimes in 2011 were 9.06 million (also down from 9.1 million in 2010) which means that less than .0279 percent of the population committed property (non-violent) crimes.  Again, a massive over-simplification (and also assuming that each property crime was committed by different perpetrators).  But perhaps you can begin to see where I’m heading with this line of thought.

These are just the statistics for the United States.  Other countries have significantly lower rates of crime.

two women huggingYes, things happen.  But the VAST majority of people (in the US alone) are not criminals!  In fact, they are “normal” people just like you and me.  Honest, compassionate, loving, hard-working, having hopes and dreams, doing charitable work, raising families, and doing the right thing day after day.  And the other countries in the world who have even lower crime rates are filled with people who are just as kind and caring as can be.

Again, this is a MAJOR over-simplification.  I think all of us know someone who is not a criminal but who might be cranky or unpleasant to be around.  But that doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person.  We all have our unique quirkiness and pain signatures!

But my point is that we’ve bought into the belief that the world is a big scary place where people are out to get us. Or hurt us.  Or abandon us. Or judge us.  Where did that come from?

Perhaps it came from our families – where home might not have been a very emotionally or physically safe place in which to grow up.  Perhaps it came from an experience of a violent crime that you experienced or observed.  Perhaps that feeling of not being safe is being perpetrated by the media to sell more chaos and confusion, and raise ratings and is being used by unseen groups or individuals, to take our power and control us by keeping us in fear.

But what if what we believe isn’t really true?  What if it IS safe to be out in the world?  What if it’s safe to speak up for what you believe?  What if it really is safe to take a calculated risk and be highly successful!?   What if…?

If we believe we are not safe, then we are highly reluctant to try new things.  We will sabotage ourselves in thousands of different ways to keep ourselves safe from feeling perceived hurt or harm.

If we are afraid of being judged and not quite measuring up in some way, it will keep up from speaking up and speaking our truth.  It will prevent us from bringing our brilliance, our gifts and talents into the world.

But what if what we believe isn’t really true?  What if it IS safe to be out in the world?  What if it’s safe to speak up for what you believe?  What if it really is safe to take a calculated risk and be highly successful!?   What if…?

light-bulbCan you imagine where we would still be if Thomas Edison hadn’t felt determined and safe enough to bring his invention of the incandescent bulb to the public?  Still in the dark!  There were plenty of people who pooh-poohed his invention, but he persevered on, because he felt secure enough in himself and his invention to speak his truth.  That one invention changed the world.  Just look at all of the inventions and what has evolved from that one single event!

If we don’t feel safe, we will sabotage or even push away relationships because deep inside we aren’t willing to risk being hurt deeply again.  For example, one client who was adopted by a very loving couple couldn’t get over the abandonment and betrayal of his birth mother giving him up.  That feeling of overwhelming abandonment prevented him from risking his heart fully.  He dated – but did sporadically.  However, subconsciously he wasn’t willing to risk someone finding out the “truth” bout him –  that deep sense of complete unworthiness that came from being unwanted at birth.

Yet consciously, he insisted he was ready, willing and able to find his soul mate and live happily ever after.  He wanted it almost more than breath itself!  We had to uncover the deep-seated programming and release the energy of it so he could finally feel the love and worthiness that ultimately led him to meeting and marrying the woman of his dreams.

Changing word Unsafe into SafeThere are countless ways that not feeling safe will undermine your best efforts at success, love, health and well-being.  Take a few minutes to think about yours.  Write them down, and then use the Quantum Soul Clearing Process to help you move past them.

I’m going to challenge you to take a moment and think about how your life would be different if it really was safe to be YOU.  To try new things.  To feel new things.  To really feel your feelings without definition or judgment.  To trust yourself.  To trust others.  What if it was actually safe to fail at something – and then try again and again until you are successful?  What if it is safe to truly succeed at something you’ve been yearning to achieve?

You deserve to have everything you desire – everything for which you yearn.  What’s really stopping you?

If you missed my call on July 30th about this extremely important topic, I’ll be hosting another one in a few weeks.  In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you.  What are the ways you might be sabotaging your best efforts with the low-self-worth program of “I don’t feel safe?”

The High Cost of Hidden Low Self-Worth and Self-Esteem Programs Part 2

Earlier this month we began the discussion of what hidden low self-worth and low self-esteem programs are and how they might be negatively impacting your health, wealth and relationships. We are going to be talking about this subject for the next couple of months, because I believe that this is the primary stumbling block to every type of success you desire! It is critically important!

I’d like to deepen that conversation today as we talk about the low self-worth program of “I’m Worthless,” and how it relates specifically to your finances, wealth and affluence.

worthless-bigstock-Graffiti-3329621The dictionary defines “worthless” as: Having no use, value or importance; good-for-nothing. Similar meanings are abandoned, baseless, barren, cheap, contemptible, despicable, inconsequential, inferior, pointless, nothing, trivial…. and the list goes on. You get the point.

This one TINY little low self-worth program, if running in the subconscious mind has the power to completely derail your financial well-being, not to mention the other parts of your life! In fact it could be costing you tens of thousands, if not millions of dollars throughout your life-time! What could you do with an extra million dollars or more??

Within our brains, we have synapses that create neural pathways of thought, feeling and action into our brains and our bodies. If we have a thought that get reinforced repeatedly, it creates stronger and stronger neural network connections. Literally, millions of brain cells and neural receptors fuse and wire together to create belief systems.

Just like any pathway that is created by countless feet walking in the same place, day after day on the earth; or little rivulets of water that create erosion patterns in the soil, our brains effectively do the same thing when we experience the same emotions over and over again. And just like in a torrential rain storm that creates deep streams and rivers in the landscape, our brains, when deluged with similar experiences and feelings over and over again also create deep, strong channels of electrical wiring within our neural cortexes.

Neurons that fire together wire together. That means that repeated negative feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness, feeling like you’re contemptible, good-for-nothing, etc., create very strong bundled neural connections of low-self-worth in the brain that then become standard operating code in our lives. It becomes the “normal” frequency that we don’t consciously feel until we bump up against a person or circumstance that triggers that feeling – and then we become reactive.

If your belief system is (or has been) reinforced through early childhood traumas of bullying, punishment, constant criticism, being shamed, not measuring up to a standard, we come to the conclusion that we are worthless, deeply flawed, inferior, and a failure.

Blurred-motion-of-woman-runningFailure is a natural, normal part of life.  It is how we learn.  What doesn’t work – and what does. No child learns to walk without ever falling down hundreds of times over and over again.  Each fall could be classified a “failure to walk.”  However, we never label the child as a failure as a walker.  We know that falling down is part of the process of learning to walk.  Eventually the child not only walks but learns to run, climb, leap and skip!  That’s a powerful SUCCESS!

The belief that we are a failure as a human being is different. It is a judgment (often picked up or imprinted onto us from others!) that wreaks havoc on our ability to connect with and utilize our talents, our gifts, our abilities. It demolishes our trust and faith in ourselves – and ultimately impacts what we believe we are worth in the marketplace!

People who run this particular low self-worth program often go through life feeling anxious that they will be “found out” as a fraud, even though they are highly successful, talented, accomplished and charming. Inwardly, they feel secretly empty, fearful and hollow. They wonder why their many accomplishments leave them cold and rarely do they believe all the praise for their success, because they “know the truth” about who and what they “really are.”

Most people don’t know why they feel miserable and unhappy, because that underlying program is “normal.” It’s invisible because it’s always been there. But it continues to erode their joy, happiness, contentment, self-confidence and self-love. At the extreme, the belief of worthlessness may lead to self-harm, self-destructive behaviors, addictions, or suicide. But most often it is expressed as nagging feelings of anxiousness, or feeling somehow inadequate – not quite measuring up.

Here are just some of the ways that the “I’m Worthless” Low Self-Worth Program impacts you in the business world and marketplace:

  • You continually under-value and under-price your services.
  • You charge a fraction of what your competitors charge, knowing you are more effective than they are, but unable to raise your prices because it doesn’t seem “fair” somehow.
  • You don’t feel confident enough to ask for that well-deserved raise.
  • You may take on the work tasks of other team members to make you feel better about yourself. Then feel profoundly overwhelmed and resentful because you can’t get your own job accomplished.
  • You get volunteered for everything and cannot say “No!” even though your schedule is so jam-packed, sleep is often optional!
  • You don’t know how to delegate. Everything MUST be handled by you. Otherwise it won’t be “good enough” and you’ll just re-do it anyway.
  • You are anxious, exhausted, overwhelmed and profoundly unhappy, even though you appear to be highly successful and have it altogether.
  • You don’t feel like you can take a vacation because….(fill in the blank)
  • You not only don’t practice good self-care, you’re not really sure what that means.

This profound conversation of hidden low self-worth and low self-esteem is one of the most important topics of our lives. It is my belief that every block to success, money, healthy relationships and love is because of our hidden low self-worth programming.

I want to invite you to join me on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 for a free 90 minute call to explore this topic even further. I’m not selling anything on the call – it’s all pure content. This is about bringing deeper awareness and understanding to this extremely important issue that impacts us all at some level.

Click here to reserve your space.

Be sure to share this with your friends and family so that they can benefit as well. It’s that important!

Before the call, I’d love to hear from you. Let me know how you your life has been or might be impacted by hidden – or not-so hidden! – low self-worth programming. Email me at Michelle@QuantumSoulClearing.com. Share your story and let’s get this conversation going!

The REAL Cost of Low Self Worth and Self Esteem

 

Did you know that you might be harboring a hidden low self-worth or low self-esteem program within your subconscious mind that could be wreaking havoc in your life?

Do you know how much money low self-worth or low self-esteem has cost you financially?  It could be millions of dollars!

Ask yourself this:

  • How has low self-worth undermined or sabotaged your personal relationships?
  • Is low self-worth impacting your health and well-being?
  • Is it keeping you from reaching for a bigger, more expanded life experience?
  • Is it draining your pocketbook?
The dictionary describes worth as: Excellence of character or quality which commands high regard; of usefulness or importance to the world, to a person, or for a purpose; having value.

The definition of esteem is: To regard highly or favorably, regard with respect or admiration;  a favorable opinion or judgment; respect or regard.

Self-worth, or self-esteem, is how valuable, how useful or how important we see ourselves in the world.  It is a measure of ourselves, and our belief about our intrinsic worth.
self-worth
Typically, we think of people who suffer from low self-worth or self-esteem as someone who is shy, withdrawn, and unwilling to put themselves forward.  We may envision them staying in the background, constantly yearning for something but are too afraid to ask.  And this is definitely one definition.

Interestingly, many people may not even know that they are suffering from low self-worth or self-esteem.  They may look and feel physically fit.  They may act confident at work.  They appear to be able to attract a mate.  They may be very outgoing and charismatic.  They may look like they have it all together and be on top of the world.  They may hold high positions of leadership in business, government, religion, or society.

But underneath everything, lurking in the background, is a sense that something is missing.  That there is something just beyond your grasp that might be even better.  It may manifest as a feeling of being unfulfilled. Of wanting or needing more – more money, a bigger and better home; the most flashy car; expensive jewelry and clothing; superior social status; constant companionship…something… in order to fill some yet undefined void.  However, that constant, ever-expanding need for more cannot be filled for long – and then the quest for something “even better” begins anew.

Some jokingly call it “shopping therapy.”  Others, call it what it really is: a shopping addiction.  But that good and powerful feeling that happens when you buy something you want never remains – and in order to keep that good feeling you keep buying and buying, whether you can really afford it or not.

Low self-worth or self-esteem is the basis for all addictions, whether it is drugs, alcohol, sex, food, spending, chaos, negativity, anger, etc.  It is all about trying to fill an unknown need in order to feel better, more worthy or important inside.
instrinsict worthDo you feel like you keep bumping up against an invisible financial glass ceiling that you just cannot break through?  You may have a self-worth program that says you’re not worth more than $75,000 per year.  It you manage to reach $100,000 one year, the next you might find yourself laid off for several months and only make $50,000 – or even less!

Low self-worth can keep you from asking for that raise you rightfully deserve.  It will keep you over-achieving and being under-paid for your services.  It will keep you from finishing that book or project that might just be your ticket to the fame and fortune you desire.  It might keep you from following your real dream to be a famous painter, rock star, healer, entrepreneur (fill in your own dream here!) because you are afraid you might fail or look foolish – or that people will talk about you and make fun of you.  

And so you rationalize away your dreams by taking a job that will pay the bills, that looks successful on the outside but that is sucking the life out of your soul each and every day.  You tell yourself that you are too old, too over-weight, not ready, don’t have enough education, blah, blah, blah….  And the years go by and the excuses keep coming as your dreams and goals slowly die – piece by painful piece. 

So what is the answer to the pervasive, and often unseen problem of low self-worth and self-esteem?  Can it ever be corrected?  How do you even know if there is a problem if you are not consciously aware that you don’t value yourself enough?

The answers begin with learning how to become more consciously aware of how our thoughts and actions make us feel.  By indentifying what we are really saying to ourselves and about ourselves every day.  Learning how we are our own harshest critic – and how that is literally robbing us of our financial abundance, joy and life-force.

It takes practice and it take constant diligence to monitor our thoughts, our actions, our feelings, and our outcomes!  But it IS possible! 
personal relationships
What I’ve discovered is that circumstance that we are experiencing in our lives is based on how much we love, respect and feel worthy about ourselves.  Everything!  If we have healthy self-worth, we expect more from the world – and we get it.  We take better care of ourselves on every level.  We only choose loving, healthy relationships, because we will not tolerate people who don’t love and support us at least as much as we love and support ourselves.  The key to everything we desire is all about this new conversation of real self-worth and self-esteem.

On July 30th, at 4:00 p.m. PT/ 5:00 p.m. MT/ 6:00 p.m. CT/ 7:00 p.m. ET I’m hosting a free 60-minute teleseminar to talk about ways that we can become more conscious of what our real self-worth and self-esteem levels are.  We will explore the many ways we unconsciously sabotage ourselves in different areas of our lives, based on the subconscious low self-worth programs that are at the root of our behaviors.  We will uncover some of the hidden words and phrases we use to undermine our true worth, and how we unconsciously train others to not value us.  And we will also discover how we can begin to love and value ourselves, so that others will too.  

I hope you will join me for this powerful event!  Here’s the link to sign up for this free event: www.quantumsoulclearing.com/selfworth.

Ask Michelle: What are Functional Skill Sets?

practice-repeat-purchased-michelle-41722495Question: 

In the Quantum Soul Clearing Statements, at the very end, it says “Please apply them all as functional skill sets.”  What does that mean?  ~R. Rocca

Michelle’s Response: 

Functional skills are competencies that are transferable to many settings – life, work, relationships, love, finances, etc.  As you develop a list of the functional skills you have and most enjoy using can help you manifest experiences and circumstances that fit your gifts and talents and provide more life satisfaction.

Functional skill sets are  generally developed over time through repetition or practice that become automatic.  Ultimately, a functional skill set becomes a natural, every day set of skills that support your life, become a part of who you are and enhance your life.   Having functional skill sets helps you feel good about yourself.  Functional skills sets can be emotional, mental, physical, spiritual or financial.  They are internal resources and talents that you can utilize to make your life better in many ways.

Here  are just a few of the practical examples of functional skill sets:

  • typing
  • playing an instrument
  • riding a bike
  • communication
  • love
  • selling
  • analytical thinking
  • training
  • Interpersonal skills
  • coaching
  • advocating
  • scrap-booking
  • math skills
  • composing
  • compassion

So when you do the download portion of the Quantum Soul Clearing Process, and you get to the end, of the process, be aware that you are asking Spirit to make everything you’ve chosen to download a natural, everyday, skillful part of your life!

Happy Summer Solstice!

Calla Lilies and me- age 4

“Are You Planting Seeds of Success?”

I have to admit, Summer is my favorite time of the year.  It is when the sun is warm.   Nature is blooming and growing. The days are long and filled with possibility.  The nights are soft and gentle, and filled with stars.

As a child, I was often sick throughout the year with strep throat.  But the summer months, filled with fresh air, sunshine, healthy foods, and easy days were always healthy months for me.  My childhood days were spent roaming the river bottoms, climbing trees, swimming, riding bikes and having picnics in the park or woods.  I often worked and played alongside my parents and grandparents (who lived next door) in our gardens.  I loved the feeling of being constantly barefoot, and the feel of cool mud squishing between my toes! It was a nurturing, loving and supportive atmosphere.

My grandfather was a master gardener.  There wasn’t anything he couldn’t grow.  In fact, his gardens were noted throughout the area.  There was even a write-up and picture taken (I have to confess it is one of my all-time favorites!) by the Ogden Standard Examiner of me smelling the Calla Lilies he grew.  Looking at that picture, you can see how magnificent they are.  Remember, Utah is a desert climate – and Calla Lilies are indigenous to Mediterranean climates!  How he got them to be almost five feet tall is a testament to his gardening skill and love of Mother Nature.

So what are you growing – literally and figuratively? 

Have you planted fruits and vegetables in a garden at your home or apartment that you’ll be harvesting the rest of the summer and into the fall?  There is nothing like a vine ripened tomato (I have to say, Utah has the BEST tomatoes in the world – they’ve really spoiled me forever.  There’s just something about the soil there that grows some of the most delicious fresh tomatoes in the world!) or a fresh ear of organic corn slathered in butter and Himalayan salt.  Or what about those snap beans cooked up with a bit of chopped, onion freshly pulled from your garden, and a few sprigs of fresh dill?  And my all-time favorite thing ever is freshly shelled green peas – raw!  They’ve even been known to beat out freshly picked raspberries and strawberries – not often, but oh man! – they rank up there with a little slice of heaven in my book!

Speaking of good soil, what I learned from my grandfather was that the soil in your garden has to be prepared in order to grow healthy, organic crops. The process of getting the garden ready, actually started In the fall.  He would often cut in old, rotted hay or straw as mulch, to help hold the water and make the soil more fertile.  By spring, it was all decomposed and had turned into soft soil.

Then in the early spring, he always started with a load of old, aged, organic manure that he cut in to the dirt with a tiller.  He’d spread it and then work it in a few weeks before he’d actually plant.  Tilling the soil and using organic manure helped create aerated soil conditions and the manure gave the soil healthy bacteria and nutrients that the plants loved!  He never did use anything with chemicals or anything that wasn’t completely organic in his gardens.

It is critical to make sure that the growing conditions for anything you are growing are optimal.  You can’t plant seeds in soil that isn’t soft, warm and healthy and expect everything to grow!  And once those seeds are planted, you have to water them with just the right amount of water.  Too much water and the seeds rot in the ground.  Too little water and the seeds either won’t germinate, or the young seedlings simply wither and die.  With just the right amount of water, plants will grow and thrive.

Once the plants begin to grow, it is imperative that any weeds be removed.  Weeds will choke out the vegetables and fruits and will rob them of the proper nutrients, water and sun, so that they die before they can grow properly.  My grandfather was up at 5:00 a.m. every day except Sunday, hoeing and weeding his magnificent gardens.  It was something he relished and it was time, I believe, that he spent communing with Nature, with himself, and with Source.

I believe that our lives are just like physical gardens.  They can be well-tended and bear the fruits of our labors – or they can be neglected and un-worked, and yield little or nothing that we desire.  We could be planting our seeds of success in soil that hasn’t been well-prepared and may not be ready to support the growth and change we desire!

Golden coins in soil with young plant isolated. Money growth conOur dreams and desires are the seeds we are planting.  If we plant our desires in fertile soil and nurture them with focus and attention, watering them with devotion, love,  the belief of success, and taking action when appropriate, they will bear beautiful fruit.

Our sub-conscious beliefs and negative programs represent the soil conditions in which we plant the seeds of our dreams and desires.  If those beliefs are not healthy and nurturing, or if our conscious or sub-conscious programs are not conducive to growing our dreams and desires, it’s like we’ve planted our desires in barren ground that cannot produce the fruits we are intending.

On the other hand, we can prepare the ground by examining our lives, identifying our old stories, and discovering the old beliefs that may not yet support what we desire to create.  We may need to  till the soil by connecting with our Divine Core Centers, spend time in meditation, become absolutely crystal clear about what we want to create, so that our inner gardens will accept the seeds of our desires and we can have optimal “growing conditions.”

Next, we need to clear our old stories, unsupportive beliefs and negative emotions.  They are like the weeds that can potentially choke out our greatest dreams and desires, and will prevent our dreams and desires from taking root and flourishing.

Finally, we need to download the vision of what we desire to create in our lives.  Spend time daily in visualization, creating a healthy, energized atmosphere filled with positive excitement and anticipation for our desires to manifest fully.  As you focus on the seeds you’ve planted, on your greatest dreams and desires, it is important to use as many of our senses as possible.  See yourself in the pictures you are envisioning; feel the feelings of success and accomplishment; hear people and yourself telling you how fabulous you are and how incredible the new experience is; smell what it smells like; imagine the feel of the clothes you will be wearing; the energy of the people who will be around you.  Make it as real as you can make it – and do it every single day!

I would like to invite you to plant your inner garden, if you haven’t already.  It’s never too late!  Consider joining my monthly group membership program.  There you will find an incredible, supportive, nurturing group of people who are also dedicated to creating their dreams and desires in spectacular ways!  It’s a very powerful way to help nurture your inner garden and watch it flourish.

I have to admit, Summer is my favorite time of the year.  It is when the sun is warm.   Nature is blooming and growing. The days are long and filled with possibility.  The nights are soft and gentle, and filled with stars. 

As a child, I was often sick throughout the year with strep throat.  But the summer months, filled with fresh air, sunshine, healthy foods, and easy days were always healthy months for me.  My childhood days were spent roaming the river bottoms, climbing trees, swimming, riding bikes and having picnics in the park or woods.  I often worked and played alongside my parents and grandparents (who lived next door) in our gardens.  I loved the feeling of being constantly barefoot, and the feel of cool mud squishing between my toes! It was a nurturing, loving and supportive atmosphere. 

My grandfather was a master gardener.  There wasn’t anything he couldn’t grow.  In fact, his gardens were noted throughout the area.  There was even a write-up and picture taken (I have to confess it is one of my all-time favorites!) by the Ogden Standard Examiner of me smelling the Calla Lilies he grew.  Looking at that picture, you can see how magnificent they are.  Remember, Utah is a desert climate – and Calla Lilies are indigenous to Mediterranean climates!  How he got them to be almost five feet tall is a testament to his gardening skill and love of Mother Nature.

So what are you growing – literally and figuratively? 

iStock_000010253161XSmallHave you planted fruits and vegetables in a garden at your home or apartment that you’ll be harvesting the rest of the summer and into the fall?  There is nothing like a vine ripened tomato (I have to say, Utah has the BEST tomatoes in the world – they’ve really spoiled me forever.  There’s just something about the soil there that grows some of the most delicious fresh tomatoes in the world!) or a fresh ear of organic corn slathered in butter and Himalayan salt.  Or what about those snap beans cooked up with a bit of chopped, onion freshly pulled from your garden, and a few sprigs of fresh dill?  And my all-time favorite thing ever is freshly shelled green peas – raw!  They’ve even been known to beat out freshly picked raspberries and strawberries – not often, but oh man! – they rank up there with a little slice of heaven in my book! 

Speaking of good soil, what I learned from my grandfather was that the soil in your garden has to be prepared in order to grow healthy, organic crops. The process of getting the garden ready, actually started In the fall.  He would often cut in old, rotted hay or straw as mulch, to help hold the water and make the soil more fertile.  By spring, it was all decomposed and had turned into soft soil. 

Then in the early spring, he always started with a load of old, aged, organic manure that he cut in to the dirt with a tiller.  He’d spread it and then work it in a few weeks before he’d actually plant.  Tilling the soil and using organic manure helped create aerated soil conditions and the manure gave the soil healthy bacteria and nutrients that the plants loved!  He never did use anything with chemicals or anything that wasn’t completely organic in his gardens. 

It is critical to make sure that the growing conditions for anything you are growing are optimal.  You can’t plant seeds in soil that isn’t soft, warm and healthy and expect everything to grow!  And once those seeds are planted, you have to water them with just the right amount of water.  Too much water and the seeds rot in the ground.  Too little water and the seeds either won’t germinate, or the young seedlings simply wither and die.  With just the right amount of water, plants will grow and thrive.

Once the plants begin to grow, it is imperative that any weeds be removed.  Weeds will choke out the vegetables and fruits and will rob them of the proper nutrients, water and sun, so that they die before they can grow properly.  My grandfather was up at 5:00 a.m. every day except Sunday, hoeing and weeding his magnificent gardens.  It was something he relished and it was time, I believe, that he spent communing with Nature, with himself, and with Source.

I believe that our lives are just like physical gardens.  They can be well-tended and bear the fruits of our labors – or they can be neglected and un-worked, and yield little or nothing that we desire.  We could be planting our seeds of success in soil that hasn’t been well-prepared and may not be ready to support the growth and change we desire!

Our dreams and desires are the seeds we are planting.  If we plant our desires in fertile soil and nurture them with focus and attention, watering them with devotion, love,  the belief of success, and taking action when appropriate, they will bear beautiful fruit.

Our sub-conscious beliefs and negative programs represent the soil conditions in which we plant the seeds of our dreams and desires.  If those beliefs are not healthy and nurturing, or if our conscious or sub-conscious programs are not conducive to growing our dreams and desires, it’s like we’ve planted our desires in barren ground that cannot produce the fruits we are intending. 

On the other hand, we can prepare the ground by examining our lives, identifying our old stories, and discovering the old beliefs that may not yet support what we desire to create.  We may need to  till the soil by connecting with our Divine Core Centers, spend time in meditation, become absolutely crystal clear about what we want to create, so that our inner gardens will accept the seeds of our desires and we can have optimal “growing conditions.”

Next, we need to clear our old stories, unsupportive beliefs and negative emotions.  They are like the weeds that can potentially choke out our greatest dreams and desires, and will prevent our dreams and desires from taking root and flourishing. 

Finally, we need to download the vision of what we desire to create in our lives.  Spend time daily in visualization, creating a healthy, energized atmosphere filled with positive excitement and anticipation for our desires to manifest fully.  As you focus on the seeds you’ve planted, on your greatest dreams and desires, it is important to use as many of our senses as possible.  See yourself in the pictures you are envisioning; feel the feelings of success and accomplishment; hear people and yourself telling you how fabulous you are and how incredible the new experience is; smell what it smells like; imagine the feel of the clothes you will be wearing; the energy of the people who will be around you.  Make it as real as you can make it – and do it every single day!

I would like to invite you to plant your inner garden, if you haven’t already.  It’s never too late!  Consider joining my monthly group membership program.  There you will find an incredible, supportive, nurturing group of people who are also dedicated to creating their dreams and desires in spectacular ways!  It’s a very powerful way to help nurture your inner garden and watch it flourish.

Ask Michelle: Is My Daughter Draining My Energy?

Question: 

I am 73 now and love the lord.  I am not trying to judge my daughter whom is in her 50’s.  I have had different people tell me that by my daughter’s actions she is draining my energy.  When little I slept with my Mom. She took me to a doctor as she thought I may be anemic. The doc asked me some questions and then told my mom she was draining my energy.

Anyhow when my daughter came to visit the whole time she was here I became very exhausted. Now she is gone but each time she calls the same thing happens.  How do i block this?  I was told some people have this inner type spirit or something that draw on other people’s energy.  I hope you can answer me.

My Answer:

There are definitely people in life who energetically drain our energy.  There are many ways this happens, but here are some of the most important ways we allow our energy to be drained:

  1. Engaging in negative or disempowering conversation with others.  Talking about how terrible things are is a sure-fire way to deplete your energy and make you feel terrible!
  2. Keeping company with someone who chronically uses or abuses drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or pornography is a great way to pick up entity attachments.  Entities attach themselves to our energy fields and suck our life-force dry.  Often it can take days, weeks or months to feel better.
  3. Over-giving to others will deplete your energy faster than you can get it back.  You can tell when this happens because you are exhausted, feel angry or resentful, or feel used.  You may not know why you feel these things, because you love the other person, but if you’re honest with yourself, the feelings are still there.
  4. Trying to control or manipulate others – or having other try to control or manipulate you is a profound waste of your life-force energy.

Learning to “no” to others, or limiting the time spent with someone who energetically drains you is critical to maintaining your health and well-being.  At first it will feel selfish and people who have been used to feeding on your energy will resent that you don’t spend as much time with them.

One thing you can do to get your energy back if you feel like you have to spend time with energy-drainers, is to use the Preparation to Work Process.  This process will help you eliminate the negative energies that may have attached themselves to you and clear out energy drains.

Many Blessings,

Michelle

P.S.  Do you have a question?  Email Michelle at service@quantumsoulclearing.com.  Each month we highlight the best questions and provide guidance and additional information.

How to Recognize Your Limiting Beliefs – Art of Joyful Living Radio

art_of_joyful_living_logo_2010_300pxJoin me for a lively and informative discussion this Tuesday, May 28th @ Noon ET on The Art of Joyful Living Show with hosts Cindy Briolotta and Linda Cassell.  We will be discussing how to recognize YOUR glass ceiling of subconscious beliefs and shatter it forever – in under 15 minutes!

The Art of Joyful Living Show provides listeners with insights, inspirations, tools and techniques for creating the life and business of their dreams. Previous show guests include Asara Lovejoy, Dr. Bruce Lipton, Gregg Braden, Cynthia Kersey, Dr. Susan Lord, Janet Attwood, Dr. Bernie Siegel, Marc Allen, Sonia Choquette, Jennifer McLean, Dee Wallace, Shakti Gawain, Dr. Carol Look, Sandi Radomski, and many more.

Click here to listen to the live broadcast, or if you miss it, to hear the recording.

Memorial Day – Remembering the Past

memorial-day

Every year for as long as I can remember, my family had a tradition of honoring those who were no longer with us.  In the United States, Memorial Day is a national holiday as a remembrance of our fallen soldiers and those who served in all branches of the military.

I’ve always loved Memorial Day for many reasons.  As a child, it was the gateway to a care-free summer and no school!  It was a day of family, picnics, good food, and story-telling. It was a very special day where we would put together bouquets of flowers and go to each of the cemeteries where my grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins had been buried.  It was always an all-day ritual of driving to Ogden, Hooper, and West Weber cemeteries to place those flowers on each of their graves.  Everyone we knew was also out there – extended family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc.  It was a type of informal reunion where we’d connect and tell stories of our loved ones to keep their memories alive.

I heard the stories of my grandfather and his three brothers who all served in World War I.  My grandfather was in the first air corps and was a gunner.  His three brothers all served in the trenches.  I learned about World War II and my uncles’ and other relatives who fought and their stories.    I come from a long line of proud veterans and warriors who faithfully and proudly served our country, so memorial day has always been a very big tradition for us to honor those who served – as well as all who have fallen.

Here in Utah the cemeteries are simply beautiful.  On Memorial Day, acres of headstones are turned into acres of flowers, small windmills, patriotic flags, pictures, and all types of decorations.  They are a riot of color and lovingly placed mementos that are given in remembrance of loved ones.

But for me, I think the most magical thing was seeing all the spirits of those no longer with us shimmering throughout the cemeteries, mingling with all the gathered people, and communing with the living, as they shared the stories, good times, tears and laughter.

For me, it brought a feeling of continuity and a deep knowing that even though our bodies may die, the Spirit is eternal. I always felt great comfort and joy in the connections with the departed.  It never felt scary or eerie – just a bigger family reunion that most people just couldn’t see, but could often feel.

During those visits, I particularly loved to hear about my great grandparents and great-great grandparents who had helped settle the Ogden Valley.  Hearing about their trials, their journeys, their lives helped bring them closer to me.  It made me feel deeply connected with the past and gave me a sense of continuity and belonging that I didn’t often feel otherwise.

One story was of my great grandparents who emigrated from Norway in the 1870’s.  My great grandfather came to America with two other brothers.  He was a blacksmith by trade and a big, strong man.  He was here, working for over two years before he’d saved enough to send for my great grandmother and their three small children who he’d had to leave behind.

They originally bought a blacksmith shop in the upper Ogden Valley in Liberty, Utah.  It reminded them of the old country with the towering mountains, deep snows and hearty pine trees.  Life was very difficult and my great grandmother had three babies during the time they lived there that she lost, one after another.  Needless to say, she struggled with depression and feeling isolated.

Finally, my grandfather had an opportunity to buy a lucrative blacksmith shop in Riverdale, Utah, a small farming village (at that time) near Ogden, Utah.  It was a once-in-a-life-time opportunity for a much better, prosperous life with a larger community of people.  The only problem was that he didn’t have the required money to put down on the new shop and there were others who were waiting to step in and buy it.  He despaired ever being able to make that dream come true.

My great grandmother was only about 4’10” tall, but was a very strong, determined, intelligent, hard-working woman.  She asked him how important this dream of his was and they talked about it at length.  She finally took him into the bedroom where the cedar chest he’d made for her stood.  There, in the bottom, carefully saved and squirreled away, was layer upon layer of pennies, nickels and dimes.  Money she’d saved for years for an emergency or an opportunity.  There was just enough money for the down payment on the shop and the house that went with the deal.

Knowing the very humble beginnings of my family, this story always brought tears to my eyes.  It always seemed like a bit of a miracle.  But more than that, it spoke of my great grandmother’s love for her husband and her willingness to follow him to a new, foreign land, filled with hardship and loss, and still make all their dreams come true.

Some old stories, like this, connect us with the truth of our ancestors and help give us a deep sense of belonging.  They help us see the value of sacrifice or the bonds of deep, abiding love.

Other old stories, may not be so positive.

Often, when working with others privately or in group, we find that the old story of lack, limitation, grief, sadness, depression, poverty, or any other type of low-energy frequency, is the one thing that just keeps us stuck.  The old stories can be creating a resonant field that attracts more of exactly what we DON’T want to be experiencing!  It can be our biggest blind spot and it can be tripping us up over and over again, as we struggle to achieve our goals, dreams, and desires.

What is so interesting, is how these old stories are often a part of our every day conversations!  How often do you hear yourself argue for your limitations?  “I can’t afford that because (fill in the blank)!”  “My life just sucks because (fill in the blank)!”  “I can’t get a date to save my soul!”  “I’ve filled out thousands of resumes and no one wants me!”  “No matter what I do, I just can’t drop this extra weight!”  (Yes, I know that one intimately!  lol)

Our thoughts, our beliefs, the old stories we tell ourselves over and over and over again are sabotaging our best efforts to change our lives.  They keep the pain of the past alive and well, and rob us of our peace of mind and prosperity in the here and now, as well as the future!

These week, I want to challenge you to pay greater attention to your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs - especially to your words!  Begin to notice when you are saying something that keeps an old unwanted, disempowering belief – and old story of disempowerment –  in charge of your life.

Memories can be great – or they can be your biggest stumbling block.  How are you using the memories of your past?  Are there old stories you need to simply eliminate all-together? What if you could tell those stories  in a different way that will allow you to tell the new story of prosperity, self-love, joy, empowerment and alignment with who YOU REALLY are!?

Let’s work together to change the story.  To align with the magnificence of who you truly are.  Allow yourself to tell the story of the beautiful, engaging, powerful, brilliant, gifted you.  Dare to remember the past in a way that allows you to learn from it and move forward in freedom and joy, eager to embrace your creations and co-creations with others – to create this new paradigm world the way you want to experience it!

Sheila Gale and I talk about fear and limiting beliefs Today!

Does fear  and anxiety – conscious or unconscious – prevent you from moving forward toward your goals, dreams and desires?

sheila-galePlease join me today on The Sheila Gale Show and learn how your subconscious fears may be sabotaging all areas of your life and limiting your life potential.  On this interview, Sheila and I will go through a healing activation and alignment process to shatter the glass ceilings of fear and anxiety.

Tune in LIVE and discover a tool that you can use throughout your life to eliminate all types of fear and anxiety and feel empowered to live the life you truly desire.

Here are the details….

Tuesday, May 21st @3PM Pacific/6PM Eastern

Click here to listen in

On this call…

  • Learn how to recognize YOUR glass ceiling of subconscious beliefs and shatter it forever – in under 15 minutes!
  • Discover how your limiting beliefs and subconscious programming are sabotaging you in the work place and limiting your earning potential – often by millions of dollars!
  • Experience a very simple alignment and reconnecting technique that will immediately increase your energy, your mental clarity and connection with your intuition.
  • Understand how your underlying fears of being seen and heard keep you playing small and cost you thousands of dollars every year.
  • Understand how to connect with your Infinite Wisdom and harness the power of the Universe to easily magnetize your goals.

I hope you will join me!