Are You Programmed to HAVE to Struggle – Part II

woman-struggling-unhappyEarlier this month I introduced the hidden program of “I have to struggle.”  This insidious, pervasive, unseen program is often at the root of much of our personal pain.

I want to explore this unconscious belief that you have to struggle, how you can begin to recognize it and remove it.  This is so important, because almost every human being has this disempowering program running in the background, and very few are aware of just how impactful it is!

But most of all, I want to help you understand just how intricately woven it is into almost every aspect of your life so that you can become conscious of it and nip it in the bud.  I believe you can begin to eliminate struggle as a core operating system in your life.  It is through clarity that you create freedom and can reinvent and re-create your life.

This week, I want to take a peek into how struggle is impacting your money.  Let’s look at some of the ways the hidden programs of struggle.

There are millions of people who struggle every day just for survival.  They work in low-paying jobs that they hate.  They work long hours and can barely make ends meet.  Millions of people and families are one or two paychecks away from homelessness and they worry how they will buy groceries and keep the utilities on.

I’ve been there personally, too.  Looking back, I remember the shame I felt about my working situations and the terror that was a constant companion.  I was a single mom with two teenage children.  I was barely recovering from being bed-ridden for two years with crippling rheumatoid arthritis, when I decided I could no longer remain in a broken marriage.  I had no job and was on disability, and knew that I’d never make it on the minimal money I had coming in.

I knew I had to do something – and quick.  I’d love to tell you that the next day I found a pot of money and I lived happily ever after, but that would be a lie.  Instead, I did what everyone running struggle programming does:  I found a low-paying job that barely kept a roof over my family’s head and was physically difficult for me to perform!

The program of struggle kept me in survival mode.  I was constantly in lack financially, and my body was under a great deal of stress.  I knew I wasn’t well-suited to the job, but figured “beggars can’t be choosers!”  (Hint:  That’s another struggle program!)

That job was filled with struggle – long hours in the sun, climbing up and down hills, while my body was still beginning to recover, and trying to learn entire new computer systems and a whole new set of job skills!  However, it also got me back into the work force, and gave me the confidence to look for other work that was more financially rewarding and more suited to my abilities.

My next job working in the telecommunications industry was almost three times the salary as my previous position.  But I still hadn’t resolved the underlying belief of struggle.  So I manifested a slave-driver as a boss and a company that viewed their employees as disposable resources that could be used up and thrown out at any time.  My stress levels were off the charts!

Because of the extreme stress, my health began to suffer again.  I would wake up in a cold sweat and sheer panic at 2 a.m. every night wondering how I was going to keep my job and raise my kids.  I was short tempered and controlling at home because I was exhausted and my body was in a lot of pain.  I didn’t know any better way to cope.

Ultimately, I got some counseling and learned new ways of lowering my stress levels.  As my stress levels came down, my pain levels also went down and I felt like I began to thrive.  And still I didn’t recognize just how ingrained the program of “I have to struggle” was in every facet of my life.  But I had learned how to cope more efficiently.

Perhaps you can relate to this scenario.  Or perhaps you have your own unique way of believing you have to struggle.

It has taken me years to discover this hidden program and I’d like to help you find a shortcut to eliminate this destructive program if possible.  I believe it is truly at the root of much of our pain and suffering.

So what how does the program of struggle show up in your life?  What does it look like?  Are you even aware that you’re struggling.  Most people have a sense that they do struggle at some level, but aren’t aware of how all-encompassing it is.

Here are some things to think about as you explore this program more deeply:

  • woman-overwhelmed-strugglingDo you procrastinate and put things off until you are in crisis?
  • Do you find yourself having challenge after challenge after challenge?
  • If so, do you feel triumphant after you’ve overcome each obstacle only to have something else pop up soon?  (Hint:  This can also be tied into an addiction of triumphing.  Using conflict and challenges to create an emotional and spiritual high.)
  • How often do you feel like you have to rob “Peter to pay Paul” throughout the month?
  • When was the last time you felt like you could breathe deeply and relax because things were going to be OK?
  • Do you experience having an abundance of money only to find that the hot water heater goes out or that the car needs to be fixed – and there goes that extra abundance?
  • Do you find yourself kvetching about how bad traffic was on the way to work?
  • Is your attitude on the darker side – feeling pessimistic about life in general and some things in particular?
  • Are you at odds or in active conflict with your family, friends, or co-workers?
  • Do you make a big deal out of 1st World problems – your food didn’t come fast enough, your cell phone service dropped your call again, you just can’t find anything to wear in your already full closet, etc.?
  • Is everything generally good in your life, but you’re still not satisfied or happy?
  • Do you feel tense and irritable more often than not?

These are just a few of the ways that we can identify whether we are actively running the hidden program of “I have to struggle” in our lives.

Now, to be clear, not everything goes smoothly every day.  That would be unrealistic.  And everyone is entitled feel their feelings when something doesn’t go according to expectations!  That’s normal.  There’s nothing wrong with truly feeling your feelings.  In fact, it is IMPERATIVE that you feel them clearly, deeply and strongly!  Because feelings are the soul’s way of speaking to you.

But how you react to the things that show up in your life will give you big clues as how much this program of struggling is affecting you.  “Having to struggle” programming makes us feel disconnected, anxious, unworthy and overwhelmed.  Wouldn’t you like to feel better?    Did you know that you DON’T have to struggle?  Did you know it is even possible to change the energy of struggle?

So here’s my challenge:  Notice how you are feeling!  Write your feelings down.  Notice and record when you feel tense, anxious, irritable, unhappy.  What are the circumstances and events that trigger those feelings? Don’t judge those feelings!  Just take note and begin to watch for patterns that begin to emerge.  Listen to your intuition and insights.

Also notice what makes you happy or brings you a sense of peace and serenity.  Notice when you feel connected and aligned.  What makes you laugh and what uplifts you?

Keep a journal or a daily notebook so that you can begin to connect the dots.  Especially notice and keep track of the ways you feel about your finances and money.  This is the area in which  most people struggle the most!  Notice all the ways you feel uncomfortable when you spend, or when you can’t spend.  Identify the ways you feel conflicted about money in any way!  Pay attention to the inner voices that “talk to you” about your money and write down the words.

Then join me April 3rd at 5:00 p.m. PT/ 6:00 p.m. MT/ 7:00 p.m. CT/ 8:00 p.m. ET for a free training call as we explore this subject more fully.  To register for this free training class, click here to reserve your seat.  Space is limited, so register early.

I look forward to “seeing” you there!

Next month, we will explore ways that you can begin to resolve and release the negative struggle programming that you’ve identified and are experiencing.   It’s time to release the old, hidden struggle programs, so that you can easily and powerfully manifest your goals and dreams.

Here’s to the start of your journey to freedom from struggle.  I can hardly wait to see what you create as you begin to release struggle and step into ease, flow and grace.

Are You Programmed to HAVE to Struggle?

Struggle-Hands-Holding-On-SmallI’ve had a lot of time to contemplate life – my life and life in general – since my surgery on January 14th. And one of the things that I started really thinking about is how life can be a struggle.

If you’ve followed me for very long, you know I believe that we can heal from just about anything. And I have. But my dogged determination that I could heal this thing by myself actually got me in to quite a fix! Ultimately that stubborn focus created even greater struggle in my life.

By the time I’d finally contacted my surgeon and got in to see him, I was barely able to walk from one end of my home to the other – and I required a walker to do it. In fact, the damage was so extensive, my right leg was more than two inches shorter than my left! Yikes!

In retrospect that was more than determination, it was really about stubborn disregard for the facts, and turning a blind eye to my own care and well-being. Exactly the opposite of what I teach! (Yes, I see the incongruence there, believe me!)

Thanks to my monthly membership group, I realized it was also a subconscious program of HAVING to struggle. The brilliant members of my group and I started to dig into the universal belief that at our core, we are programmed to HAVE to struggle – even if there might be an easier way.

The fact was that I needed help. Outside medical, western medicine help. (There, I admitted it!) And thank GOD that it was available! 100 years ago, I would have had to just live in excruciating pain and suffering – and utter disability. Struggling every day. Not a pretty picture, to say the least!

In the dictionary, struggle is defined as:

  1. to contend with an adversary or opposing force.
  2. to contend resolutely with a task, problem, etc.; strive: to struggle for existence.
  3. to advance with violent effort: to struggle through the snow.
  4. to make one’s way with violent effort.

Obviously, struggle is the opposite of ease, flow and grace. When we are struggling, we are disconnected from the flow of the divine. We are forcing a certain agenda in our lives for a specific outcome and not allowing new opportunities for healing and transformation into our lives. Additionally there is a component of violence that is just opposite our desires for happiness and well-being.

So what does struggle look like in your life? Are you even aware that you are struggling? I wasn’t! To me it looked like focused determination to overcome physical pain. (OK – so that is struggling!)

Do you have to struggle to make ends meet every month? Do you struggle with your weight? Do you struggle to make a relationship work? Do you struggle with guilt, shame, overwhelm, addiction, self-loathing, jealousy, etc? What is your unique flavor of having to struggle?

14991655_sWhat do you get from having to struggle? Are you like me, feeling triumphant when you hurtled huge obstacles? Is there an addiction to being triumphant?

Since our last group coaching session, I’ve become much more cognizant of what struggle really looks like. How hidden programs of struggle – HAVING to struggle, to be exact – have been sabotaging my personal happiness, health and wellbeing. Even my finances! It’s almost like an addiction to overcoming obstacles!

In my mind’s eye, I allowed myself to go back through my own life, recalling family stories of struggle and having to overcome big hurdles. I’ve been looking at the news and societal issues. And I’ve been astonished at just HOW MUCH we all believe we need to struggle, rather than allow good into our lives.

In a meditation, I got to see how, from the beginning of life on this planet, we have been programmed to struggle. For food, for existence, for shelter, for our country, for our RIGHTS (that’s a big one!), for our ability to be ourselves.

Over the next weeks, I will be exploring and writing more about this all-consuming subject. I want to challenge you to begin examining your own life and observing how struggle might be impacting you. Start to journal about it. And start doing the Quantum Soul Clearing Process when you find struggle programs that are sabotaging your best efforts for success.

You might also consider joining my monthly membership program to help you explore and release these powerful, hidden determinants to your happiness, wholeness and success. You can learn more about the group membership program here:

I would love to hear from you! Let me know what types of struggles you are observing in your life and how much time, energy and life-force you are spending just dealing with the struggle. What and how are you not allowing more ease into your life? Let’s release this energy and co-create something much more life-enhancing!

Here’s to a life of greater freedom, ease, flow and grace!

We Can’t Do it Alone

Concerned Doctor“Well, there’s no question, Michelle. You have to have that hip replaced. There are no other options. It’s a good thing you’re using that walker, otherwise the head of that femur could break off at any moment. And you do NOT want that.”

My heart dropped and my pulse kicked into high gear. Another surgery! It has been seven years since I had my knees replaced. I’d hoped I would never have to have another surgery. Yet here I was, sitting in my orthopedic surgeon’s office hearing what I took to be a sentencing – and a judgment of my inability to heal myself.

I’d failed again! Where had I gone wrong? What could I have done differently? Why ME? I could feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes, and swallowed hard to keep them from falling. I’d cry later in private. Right now I needed information and I just wanted time to process everything.

My doctor’s eyes and demeanor were very compassionate, personable and professional. I felt like I was in extremely competent hands and could trust him completely. I don’t give my trust to those in the medical profession lightly, and was surprised to find that I felt really good about my doctor. I wasn’t feeling panicky – just a little shocked at how bad the x-rays looked glowing there on the wall.

As I looked at the x-rays, I could clearly see the more than two inches difference in the side-ways tilt of my pelvis, sacrum and low back in the weight-bearing pictures. In a flash, I could see why my chiropractic adjustments haven’t held for long. They can’t – there’s no support. No foundation. Nothing strong or substantial to make the adjustments stay in place. With each step, everything twists and contorts out of place because the bone and skeletal structure just isn’t there!

When I got home, I decided it was time to meditate and contemplate what was really going on – on every level. As I was checking in with the Divine, I heard, “Hips are part of your foundation and support.” While you stand on your feet and legs, your hips are the foundation for your entire torso and upper body. They are the lower balance point/counter balance point for your shoulders and upper body.

I know from personal experience now that if there is any imbalance in the hips, it throws the entire pelvis, sacrum, low back, upper back and neck out of alignment and balance – and ultimately impacts how your head attaches to the neck.

Bones are the framework for the muscles, tendons, ligaments and tissues to hold their shape. Without bones, we are just little piles of gelatinous tissue.

Louise Hay, in her little blue book, Heal Your Body, says that hip problems represent the “Fear of going forward in major decisions. Nothing to move forward to.” And bone problems are about a rebellion to authority. (That certainly resonated for me! lol)

The fact that the head of my femur bone is dissolving and dying tells me that my old foundation is crumbling and no longer supporting me. We make important decisions based on the foundation of our beliefs and experiences. Our past or present definitions, experiences and beliefs create our foundation, and for me, that old foundation has been dissolving for a long time.

I know what I’d like to experience, but like a landscape of sand that suddenly begins to shift because of wind or rain, I’ve found myself with no sure footing and not trusting that there is a safe place to move. So rather than trust that I’d find the right solution to the pain in my hip and sacrum, I did nothing – and that foundation continued to rot away. And I hadn’t replaced it with a new foundation yet.

One of my foundational beliefs is that I can heal my body – and that I have to do it all myself. Because I haven’t been able to resolve this situation, I’ve felt like a failure and a fraud. And the resulting feeling has been one of shame.

I recently spoke with my dear friend and former radio show co-host, Susan Kern. I was telling her how I was feeling. She’d had a surgery last year and had gone through many of the same feelings and experiences as I have been experiencing. She shared with my her wisdom.

I told her – and now I’m telling you – that I have had such profound judgment (and the resulting shame of the judgements) that if I’m such a connected spiritual healer, that I should be able to work a miracle of healing for myself. I feel like I am in service to the planet. I do amazing work with people, who have spectacular results, and I haven’t been able to effect a change of my own. Because I have not have that instantaneous remission and the bones completely re-knitting and cartilages re-growing, then I’ve believed that there’s something wrong with ME!

That was when Susan said, “Michelle, surgeons are expressions of the Divine themselves. They too have a mission of service and work their miracles through the science and art of surgery and healing. They cannot fulfill their mission of service if those of us who are carrying these burdens don’t show up and allow them to part of the Divine co-creative team to work those miracles with you. You do NOT have to do this yourself!”

She also pointed out that I hold energy for millions of people around the world with my work. My hip is also a metaphor for everyone in the world, as well. We are all working from a foundation that no longer supports us! And as I (and each of us) repair the damage and gain a new foundation, I am (we are) also allowing and modeling for others that there is healing in all forms.

As we work co-creatively as a team with Source and the Unseen, we are also working co-creatively together as a human species to make massive change and shifts. It may look personal, but it really is not. It is quite global because we are all connected.

I started to cry when I got it. We are not meant to do this healing work alone. God works in so many ways – not just through alternative healing methods, but also through modern medical intervention.

I realized that I would never hesitate to see a dentist if I had a cavity or broken tooth. How is seeing a surgeon – or any other type of medical doctor – any different? I had just blinded by my beliefs, along with my past experiences! I realized just how guilty I have been of “spiritual significance.”

I thought of the story of the man who, in a flood, calls to God asking for a miracle and to be saved. So God sends someone in a row boat to save the man, but the man refuses and says, “God will save me.”

As the waters rise, he calls out again, “Please God, save me!” And God sends someone in a motor boat to pick him up. But the man refuses, saying “God will save me.”

Finally the waters rise to the top of the roof and the man again beseeches God, “PLEASE GOD! SAVE ME!” And a helicopter shows up to pick the man up from the roof. But again the man refuses help, saying, “God will save me.”

Soon the waters rise higher and the man drowns. As he reaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven, he is righteously indignant with St. Peter. “I was a righteous, man. I prayed and did everything that God asked of me to do. And still I drowned! What did I do to deserve that?!”

St. Peter was quite taken aback and suddenly, the clouds parted and a booming voice filled the heavens. God said, “I sent you a row boat, a speed boat and a helicopter! What more did you want?”

Everything in this world – and everyone in it – has a Divine mission and presence. If we are truly co-creating with the Divine, and we are, there many more answers to our prayers and petitions than we have been willing to see because they don’t conform to our beliefs! Like me, how are you not seeing what is right in front of you? How are you refusing help that is part of the Divine plan?

There is no shame in admitting that you can’t do it all yourself. We are not designed to do anything by ourselves! We need each other. We sometimes need practical, medical intervention. And when we do, refusing help is refusing the Divine’s miracles of healing.

100 years ago, I would have had to simply suffer endlessly. There were no joint replacements. There were not even very good pain relievers or antibiotics!

We are not just spiritual beings. We are also in physical form. All types of healing modalities have been put here on the earth for our good and our use. The journey is learning to find the balance.

Gratitude and Appreciation

The theme for November is Gratitude and Appreciation.  It is a time for deep personal introspection and for giving thanks for the blessings and the bounty we have in our lives.  It is a time for coming together in love and service, sharing that immense bounty with those less fortunate.

The principle and practice of acknowledging all that we have is one way of letting the Universe/God know that we are open to receive even more.  Being consciously appreciative of all that we have is a powerful way to co-create even more.  Remember, what you focus on grows.  Focusing on, and feeling appreciation for what we have gives the mind the creative cues to notice new and bigger opportunities for even greater abundance.  In doing so we set up a resonant energetic field that easily manifests and draws in even more abundance.

There is one dichotomy at work here, though.  You cannot focus on all that you have and appreciate it with the expectation that in that appreciation you will automatically receive more.  It is a way of saying to the Universe, “OK, Universe!  Thanks for everything I have, but I want more, because I just don’t have enough.  So now give it to me, because I am appreciating what I have.”  There is a subtle but very strong resonant field of lack in that expectation.  The focus is briefly on the thanks, but is much more present on the perceived lack and wanting more.

It’s like giving a gift expecting to receive something in return.  The essence of true giving is that there is nothing expected in return.  It is the joy of the giving that creates the resonant field of receiving something of greater value than what you’ve given.  It just doesn’t work!

However, there is also another part of the equation in attracting more of what we desire.  The ability to unconditionally receive!  We are usually great givers.  We are kind and generous.  From an energetic standpoint we are creating opportunities for so much more abundance in our lives, but may not know how to gracefully and gratefully receive it, unless it looks a certain way.

How many times has someone offered to buy your lunch or dinner and you immediately refuse the offer and, in turn, pay for theirs instead?  Was it because of your unconscious or conscious belief that to be socially acceptable you have to always offer to pay?

What are the limitations you might be putting on your unconditional receiving?

Let’s start with something very simple.  How easily and gracefully can you accept a compliment?  Can you fully receive it without second-guessing the sincerity of the person giving it?  If you are told you are beautiful, talented, gifted, special, fabulous – or any other accolade – can you fully receive that compliment without feeling just the tiniest bit uncomfortable?  Can you fully acknowledge and take that compliment into your heart and being that you are brilliant, gorgeous, and gifted?  Are you capable KNOWING that is who you really are?

Or how about this scenario:  If you were out of work and couldn’t put food on the table, are you opposed to or uncomfortable accepting food from the food bank, your church or civic organization, or even accepting food stamps?  You might do it, because otherwise your family would suffer, but there is more than likely a enormous amount of energy – perhaps shame, disgrace, or something like that you might be feeling at the time.

If you were to win the lottery, is there some definition or limitation you might be placing on that scenario?  Would you first have to pay off all your bills, make sure friends and family are taken care of, a certain percentage given to charity?  Not that any of these things are wrong – but are they a condition of you winning?

And as you visualize yourself winning, have you had thoughts that you’d have to change your phone number, disappear for weeks, if not months, until things settled down?  Are you subconsciously concerned that you might be one of “those winners” who would blow it all in less than a year and couldn’t face the self-recrimination of that happening?

Do you see where I’m going with this?  There are countless ways that when we are given something, or that we dream about or envision receiving gifts of money or abundance, we are already placing definitions and even restrictions on the receiving?

Ask yourself this: Is it ever okay to simply receive and just say thank you – no matter what it is?  Can you do it without any kind of judgment or feelings of discomfort?  Or does that just seem terribly selfish?

Then think about this:  Have you ever tried to give someone a gift and they refused to accept it?  Did you feel their discomfort?  How did that make you feel?  If they were unable to accept that gift – be it the price of a lunch, a compliment or something even greater – how does it feel as the giver when the gift isn’t accepted?  Doesn’t it make you feel bad in some way?  Does it diminish the pleasure of the giving just a little bit?  Does it leave you confused and wondering if you’ve made some sort of social faux pas or erred in some way?  Do you eventually quit trying to be generous with a person who refuses to accept your gifts?

It really limits the joy of giving, doesn’t it?  What if the Universe might also be trying to gift you and you are unable or unwilling to accept the abundance that could and should rightfully be yours?  In my fanciful moments, I wonder if the Universe might also experience some of those energetic frequencies as it rebuffed time and again when you refuse abundance.

This month, I am going to challenge you to become aware of and challenge your limitations and inabilities to unconditionally receive – no matter what.  Whenever you have an opportunity to be given something, even if it is the tiniest compliment, begin to notice your feelings.  Notice how you just might be turning abundance away.  Notice the feelings that come up and begin to question them.  Are they even yours?  Then use the Quantum Soul Clearing Process to eliminate the frequencies and open up your ability to unconditionally receive.

Allow yourself the pleasure of accepting the gift that someone or the Universe is trying to give you.  Practice unconditional receiving this month.  Notice the joy that the giver of the gift has when presenting you their gifts.  Allow the flow and the natural cycle of giving and receiving to flourish this month!

And in the Spirit of giving unconditionally, if you missed it in the previous section, please accept my gift of the Explosion of Joy Transmission in the Personal Message from Michelle section.

Countless Blessings to You!  May you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Chanukah!


The High Cost of Not Practicing Good Self-Care

Low self esteemUp to now we’ve been talking about the different ways that hidden low-self worth programs may be sabotaging your life. Today I want to talk about really taking good care of yourself and what that looks like.

If you have hidden self-worth programs impacting you, you might be struggling with feelings of worthiness, not deserving good things, or believing that for whatever reason you should just settle for what life brings you, we need to talk! You may be unconsciously setting yourself up for burn out, exhaustion, unhappiness, feeling unsatisfied and disconnected, and even significant health problems.

Those little nuggets of self-defeating energy in your brain and body may be interfering with how well you practice good self-care. It was so apparent to me during my recent women’s retreat in Hawaii, that I have had a very significant – and very hidden – self-worth program running that had been preventing me from relaxing and enjoying my life! I would like to share a little bit of my new personal awareness about self-care (or my lack thereof!) with you to help illustrate how important self-care is to your full well-being and happiness.

Let me preface this realization with how I believed that I had been practicing pretty good self-care. Sure, I knew that there were times that I didn’t get quite enough sleep or exercise. That I hadn’t had a real vacation in over 15 years! That I put others’ needs before my own. But I could rationalize that I was busy, people needed me, I had things to accomplish. And then I’d take some time for myself. I’d take time off and get extra rest, connect with Nature, see friends, take in a movie, and relax with a good book. I felt virtuous that I eat well and have a good daily spiritual routine. And so I believed I was taking good care of myself.

I arrived a day early for my retreat at Lumeria Maui so that I could rest and be fully present for the week of transformation that I was coming to experience. After unpacking and hanging my belongings and getting something to eat, I made my way to the lovely deck that was just outside my room. I decided that I would spend some time meditating and centering before I went for the massage I had booked so that I would be pre-relaxed and able to absorb the healing energy of the massage.

The beautiful grove of pine trees, gently whispering in the slight breeze just off the deck area, immediately brought me to a state of soothed peacefulness. I could feel years of un-acknowledged tension beginning to unwind from my muscles and tissues, as I closed my eyes and began connecting to my Highest Self within. The sensation was absolutely delicious! The stillness of the grounds, the smells, shapes and colors of the different plant varieties, and the view of the ocean peeking through the trees brought me to a place of internal quietude that I had not been able to match at home.

As I sat there I could feel the individual cells in my body give a sigh of relief as they gave up their tension and their perceived need to be doing anything at all. I could literally feel something deep within me begin a long, slow, unwind, and I contemplated the real meaning of “vacation unwind” and how important it is.

20131025_180331As I continued to feel my body, mind and soul more fully unwinding and relaxing deeper and deeper into the feeling of Oneness, I began reflecting on how long it had actually been since I had experienced that particular level of deep inner peacefulness. I realized that it had been many, many years since I felt that level of contentment. Suddenly, I realized that I had only been giving lip-service to taking good care of myself. I realized in that moment just how depleted I’d allowed myself to become. And then the tears came.

Because I was under the illusion that I was taking just good care of myself, I was shocked to realized that it wasn’t really true! The level of self-care that I thought I’d been practicing was not nearly enough! I vowed, right then and there, to become more mindful of how I was actually treating myself and how much time I allowed myself to simply BE at different times of the day.

Of course, being away at a specific event that is designed to take you out of the everyday hustle and bustle is one thing – and being back in that everyday energy is quite another. But my experiences there gave me a deeper understanding of how precious the time we take for ourselves really is. And just how imperative it is to take exceptional care of ourselves!

Please, take a long, deep, hard look at how well you are really treating yourself. I don’t want you to beat yourself up if you find that your level of self-care isn’t stellar. I want this to be a very gentle nudge to see how you might have unconscious programming that might be interfering with your ultimate well-being. If there’s room for improvement, then take steps to make a few changes. If you are doing well in this area, please give yourself a huge hug acknowledgement acknowledge that accomplishment.

Let’s look at just a few of the areas where most of us tend to cut corners.

Do you REALLY get enough sleep? Are you getting the required eight hours of sleep that will allow you all the sleep cycles to fully run? If not, you are cheating your body of the ability to repair and balance itself. Also, did you know that if you are not getting into bed by 10 p.m. that you are working against your body’s natural rhythms and disrupting your hormone balances? This is a BIG one! Studies have proven that the two hours before midnight are worth more than four hours after midnight in quality of sleep and their impact on the physiology!

bigstock-Stressed-248446Are you eating the right foods? How much of your diet is dedicated to keeping you unnaturally stimulated? Do you depend on that cup (or more) of coffee in the morning to get you going? Do you binge on carbohydrates so that your blood sugar is revved up and then crashes, so that you start the cycle all over again throughout the day? Are you getting enough protein so that your cells can replicate properly and repair your body’s systems? Are you getting several servings of dark leafy greens throughout the day to alkalize and recharge your body? Have you gotten rid of soft drinks yet? (They are not really a food form, you know. And they are extremely dangerous to your bones, heart and brain.)

If you are eating the right foods that are designed to nourish your body, are you actually in the right frame of mind while you are eating, that will allow your body to relax and absorb the nutrition? This is so crucial to a fully nourished body! If you are not relaxed and focused on what you are eating, your body is more than likely to be in fight, flight or freeze, which means that you physically cannot digest your food and absorb the nutrition! Not only that, your adrenal glands are pumping out cortisol that is causing massive inflammation throughout your body, creating weight around the belly, and setting you up for an adrenal crash – not something you want to ever experience!

That means that if you are eating on the run, or very quickly, your body cannot utilize the food you just inhaled. Additionally, if you are not thoroughly chewing your food into miniscule particles, you are not preparing your entire gastric system to handle the food you’ve eaten. Your stomach and intestines have to work extremely hard to absorb the little nutrition it can.

If you have undigested food in your poop (please do check!) you are probably only receiving 10 -15% of the nutrition you think you are getting. That means you are sabotaging your metabolism a second time (adrenals spewing out cortisol is the first way). Because the body cannot absorb nutrients from undigested food and if it is in stress mode (aka “fight, flight or freeze”), it is going to hold onto every single calorie it can and store it for future use. And you are more likely to binge eat, because your body is actually starving for nutrition! (As a note, by purposefully relaxing and consciously focusing on my food, I’ve lost 8 pounds in two weeks, feel for satiated and have better energy! And I have not changed one thing in my diet, nor added any additional exercise.)

Additionally, undigested food is stored in the intestinal tract far longer than well-digested food because it is harder to move through the bowels. That means it is putrefying and causing unhealthy fungal and bacterial over-growth issues – also adding to weight problems. It can also cause intestinal permeability issues which can cause auto-immune disorders. So please slow down, be conscious of what you are actually eating, and chew your food thoroughly.

bigstock-Meditation-1931400 Are you taking time out to meditate, pray, or have some type of spiritual practice and/or alone time? This is critical to your health and well-being. And tough to do sometimes! However, this time out helps you re-center, find balance, find your connection to yourself and to the Divine. It is a time that allows you to slow down your mind, rest your nervous system and get out of chronic stress, allowing your entire body to relax, recharge, restart and unwind. This is most critical for brain health.

If you don’t have a specific spiritual practice, you can reconnect by taking a walk in nature, taking a 15-20 minute nap during the middle of the day, taking a long hot bath, or simply finding a quiet space with no one in it and closing your eyes while you allow your body to relax. Follow your breathing. Just allow yourself to BE with yourself. Notice your body’s physical sensations. If there is discomfort, ask it what it is trying to tell you. Hear it without any judgment or trying to control the discomfort. Just allow it all to be what it is. Make the discomfort your friend. Then allow the discomfort to release. If there’s peace, allow peace and well-being to expand.

Are you treating yourself like your very best friend or a lover would? Sounds like a funny question, but often we are our own worst critics! Treat yourself to fresh flowers, a walk in the park, a special treat of some kind. Take yourself to the movies, to dinner, to lunch. Buy yourself a small treat or present – even if it’s not completely in the “budget.” Talk nicely to yourself. Say things like, “You look beautiful today.” “You have such gorgeous skin!” “Honey you are looking HOT!” “You are so smart!” And make it sincere.

In fact, if you want to feel better about yourself, keep a journal and find a minimum of three things every single day that you really like about yourself. Here’s the challenge: Every day you must find something new to say – no repeats! Allow yourself to appreciate and glory in the unique, beautiful, delicious, fabulousness of who you really are! Learn to fall in love with yourself. You’ll feel better and others will be attracted to you like magic!

Let yourself off the hook. I don’t know a woman out there that doesn’t hold themselves to a very high standard. An impossible standard. You are beautiful just the way you are. You are intelligent, talented, good enough, thin enough, capable enough and strong enough for anything and anyone. Allow yourself to laugh at your mistakes (or learning opportunities), forgive yourself and move on.

facialsRelax and allow yourself to simply feel your feelings. There is no such thing as a wrong feeling! All of us feel helpless, hopeless, broken, depressed, unlovable, unhappy, etc., at times during our lives. It’s an illusion! I can’t say this long enough or loud enough: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!! You don’t need to be fixed, healed or saved. God/Goddess/Source loves you more than you know. If you don’t like the feelings, identify what you DO want to feel. Use the Quantum Soul Clearing process to move the energy and help you create the life you really want to live. You are in control. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. You are a Master Creator! And you are MAGNIFICENT!

These are just a few of the many ways that we can practice self-care. I’m sure you can think of hundreds of ways that you can love, support and enjoy yourself more fully. Please take the time to implement those things. Life is short. It is meant to be experienced and lived. And if you are depleted because you are lacking in self-care, it makes it impossible to live fully and achieve what you’ve come here to do. Please don’t rob us of your magnificence. The world needs you, your gifts and your talents!

And if you need help uncovering that magnificence or finding balance, I am always here for you.

Are You Afraid to Stand Out and Shine in Your Brilliance? – The High Cost of Low Self-Worth and Self Esteem Part 6

1378218_10151721293472017_1421150456_nI recently saw a picture of Waldo – remember him? As in “Where’s Waldo?”  He was all the craze in the 80’s. Where is he now?  And did anyone ever really find him?  He was kind of a slippery guy, difficult to find and never really front and center.

Waldo was one of my children’s favorite books – and I have to admit one of mine, too, except that after searching in vain through page after page, I’d invariably have a vicious headache!  Waldo constantly hid in large crowds, disguising himself as someone else.  Always trying to blend in and become inconspicuous.

He was a very crafty and clever little guy.  Just when you thought you’d found him – you’d be wrong.  All those look-a-likes!  Was he afraid of standing out?  Was he purposely trying to blend in and be like everyone else?  Did he feel safer being invisible?

Here’s my question: How have you been like Waldo? Have you been afraid of being seen and heard?  Afraid of standing out and shining your brilliance into the world?  Have you felt safer at blending in with the crowd, and then feeling angry and resentful that no one in the market place can really find you?

In order to bring your gifts and talents fully in the world, you have to consciously and subconsciously feel safe enough, and want to be unique so that you can stand out and be SEEN!  On the one hand, the world LOVES uniqueness – and frankly, on the other hand, the world has not really been kind to unique individuals.

Most of us who are message-bringers have spent countless life-times being persecuted, killed, burned at the steak, ridiculed, etc., for being “different” and than the crowd and standing out.  Literally millions of women (and men) were exterminated during the dark ages alone for being “witches” (aka different) even if their healing skills helped individuals and communities.

And, of course, there was Jesus.  Nothing like someone who was heralded as the Son of God being nailed to a cross (it doesn’t get much more special that that, right?!) to make you re-think how special you might be, and how dangerous it might be to bring a message of hope and love to the world.  If he was vulnerable, what makes us think we aren’t going to be crucified for our messages too??

It’s no wonder that we are a bit reluctant to be different, to be seen and heard, to shine our fabulous, unique gifts and talents into the world!  It just hasn’t felt safe.

But we’ve reached an awakening on this planet. Our souls will no longer be denied.  We are being called by the Greatness that lies within us to fulfill our soul’s purpose.  No longer are we willing to be, do and have less than that which we KNOW we are designed to BE!

Our greatest yearning – our calling and purpose – is to bring the magnificence of who we really are out into the world!  In this global awakening, we can no longer ignore the promptings of that Infinite Being that lives within each and every one of us, as it begins to stretch and arise within us.

The feeling of urgency to do something of great value is bursting within us.  And it is at direct odds with the desire to hide out so that we can still play it safe.  Often, that desire to not want to be seen is completely unconscious within us.  Mostly it looks and feels like a block to just not getting our message out.

Sometimes it looks like overwhelming fear when we attempt something that is outside our comfort zone.  I can’t tell you the numbers of clients who come to me because they cannot get past their fear as they begin to take their message out into the world.  They don’t understand why they aren’t being seen.  They don’t understand why, even with their best efforts, they aren’t attracting the clients that will pay them well for the outstanding work they perform.

Without fail, one of the hidden programs we find is, “It’s not safe to be ME.”  Usually there are other programs, just as powerful that are layered on, program after program, that also unconsciously sabotage their best efforts at success.

However, once they’ve been rooted out and resolved, I see those clients go on to have six- and multiple six-figure businesses in a very short time.  They are able to shatter that financial glass ceiling that was creating even greater feelings of failure and unworthiness.  Once that ceiling is shattered, they are free!  Free to serve the world, free to make all the money they desire, free to leave jobs that no longer serve them, free to allow their innate Divine gifts and talents to shine out into the world!

So what is stopping you?  Are you being your own version of “Waldo?”  Or are you determined to step into the light and refuse to let anything stand in the way of your brilliance and success?

If you’re ready to shatter your glass ceiling of limitation, I’m here to support you.  Let’s find those hidden determinants and remove them once and for all.  It’s time for each and every one of us to bring our gifts and talents into the world. Full out, no hold barred.  The people you are supposed to be helping need what you have to offer.  And the world needs us to be everything we are designed to be.  So what’s holding you back??

Feeling Disempowered Programs: The High Cost of Low Self-Esteem – Part 5

worthlessnessWe’ve been talking about some of the hidden low self-worth and self-esteem programs that limit our success, impact our health and well being and damage our relationships with ourselves and others.

One of the most sinister hidden programs is, “I Am Powerless.”  This hidden program is linked to the program of “Worthlessness.”  However, the energy is different.  People running the program of worthlessness have a powerful belief that they are not deserving of anything good.  People who have the hidden program of “Powerlessness,” usually believe that they are deserving of having what they want, but don’t believe they have the power or resources to obtain it.  They don’t believe they have the ability to achieve their goals and dreams.

At the core of this program is that others are more talented, stronger, smarter, more resourceful, accomplished and more deserving than you.  The underlying belief is that you just don’t have what it takes to succeed.  That there are people, circumstances or hidden blocks that stand between you and your goals and success that you cannot overcome.

This program and belief is often created by childhood experiences such as having controlling or abusive parents.  If you were forced to follow specific rules that didn’t allow you to think or act for yourself, you are at high risk for having this as a hidden program.

Recently I worked with a client who was very accomplished.  She had two masters degrees and was working on her PhD.  She is published, a phenomenal motivational speaker and therapist.  She came to me because she was unhappy and felt like she was blocked from success.  She felt like she could not speak up for herself, and she wanted to figure out why her business wasn’t as successful as she knew it could and should be.

At her corporate job she was passed over again and again for positions for which she was uniquely qualified.  She said, “It’s like I’m completely invisible!  I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong!”  She was extremely unhappy and felt like she was stuck in a job she hated, but couldn’t quit because of the money.

Because she felt she was being overlooked so often at work, she began her own business and it would go well – up to a certain point.  Then something would happen and clients would disappear and the money would dry up.  She would rebuild her practice and watch the cycle happen again and again.  She felt powerless to make the shift from working at the corporate level and making the leap to her private practice because of the money fluctuations.

Working with my client, we discovered that her mother had struggled with a life-threatening illness.  So much time and resources were invested in the mother’s treatment that my client felt like she was constantly ignored and over-looked.  Her emotional needs never got met.  She felt resentful and angry because she felt invisible and unloved at times, then felt guilty because she knew how much her mother was suffering.  And she felt guilty that she had no power to help her mother overcome the illness.

Eventually her mother did overcome her illness.  She remarried a man who was overly protective of her mother and was very strict with my client.  She was forced to maintain high grades, while maintaining the household chores and cooking for the family so her mother was never overly stressed.  Any extra-curricular activities were not allowed because she had so many responsibilities.

As a teen my client was bullied by a group of kids at school.  She was cruelly taunted, made fun of and even physically abused.  No one intervened on her behalf.  She simply endured the bullying until she graduated and went to college on a full scholarship.

What we uncovered was a hidden belief that she needed to be invisible.  That invisibility was important to her safety and that she needed to not make any waves as a child so that it didn’t cause her mother any stress that would make her more ill.  She felt like she was never in control of her life, and never had been.  She felt that someone had always had more authority over her than she had for herself.  The bullying had made her feel that she could not stand up for herself and that it was her lot in life to be the punching bag, door mat or servant for others.  Deep inside, she felt that she didn’t really matter.  She was even questioning her efficacy as a therapist.

This hidden “I’m Powerless” program was causing her to unconsciously sabotage her business.  She didn’t feel like she had the power to change her circumstances.  But even more, when she did make changes, they seemed to make her feel more disempowered her!  She began questioning her value, her work and herself.  The program and belief that she needed to stay invisible, kept her from being promoted at the corporate level.  And it prevented potential clients from seeing her and how her gifts and talents could really help them.

Within days of clearing this hidden low self-esteem program, she was approached by a head hunter for a very high-level position at a different company.  She chose to take the position and to continue to work on her entrepreneurial business as well.  She raised her rates, and at our last session had a waiting list of clients who wanted to work with her.

How might this hidden program be running in your life?  Where do you feel like you are out of control?  What are the different ways you feel helpless to change things in your life?  Do you feeling you don’t matter – or that what you do doesn’t matter?  Do you feel trapped?  Hopeless?  Invisible?  Without resources to change your circumstances?

As you explore these questions and investigate the roots of your feelings, make sure you keep a journal of all that you have been feeling and experiencing.  Use the Quantum Soul Clearing Process to release the negative feeling that come up as you explore what is holding you back.

And if you need help, I’m here to help you find the hidden, underlying low self-worth and self-esteem programs that might be tripping you up.

Doing What You Love But The Money Isn’t Following?

The Secret To Living On Purpose and Financial Prosperity

Do What You Love And The Money Will Follow? Nicola GraceBy Nicola Grace, Best Selling Author, Creator of Mission Blueprint

Wouldn’t it be great if making the money you know you deserve was as simple as doing what you love? Then all you’d need to do is figure out what you love to do. But what if you are already doing what you love, you’re on your life purpose, yet you’re struggling financially and the money just isn’t following you in the way you thought it would?

For those of you who don’t know me, in 2006 I implemented a strategic plan that saved a billion dollar industry from ruin in just six months, when that industry had struggled to do it for themselves in seven years. I made history and won an award for my efforts. I was doing what I loved. I was on purpose and yet, not only did I end up broke, I went bankrupt. The money did not follow me, in fact quite the opposite.

While I was in the process of examining what the missing link was, I had a major epiphany. A holographic image of my brain and my mind lifted up out of my head and I could see that the hemisphere containing work, reward and money was separated from the hemisphere that contained love, purpose and spirituality. The two hemispheres weren’t talking to each other.

On researching, meditating and investigating this phenomenon with my clients, I discovered this hemisphere split was a very common thing. It’s part of the reason why we can find ourselves just working to pay the bills, and our love or purpose is played out as a hobby – not something we can earn money from. In fact you might end up finding it difficult to charge for what you love to do. Or you could be doing what you love but not getting the money you desire.

Why Love, Purpose & Spirituality Can Be Separate From Work, Reward & Money

Regardless of what culture you come from; somewhere in your ancestral inheritance stored in your brain, is a time when spiritual leaders, healers, medicine men and women, shamans etc, did not have to participate in the day to day economy of the tribe. Their spiritual work was their contribution to the tribe, and they were taken care of by its’ members. It was believed there was a difference in labour versus spiritual work. It was believed that if the spiritual leaders participated in the day to day work of the tribe, they’d loose their special powers/gifts and connection to the divine source. Labour or work was somehow dirty for them. The rest of the tribe “had to do the work that had to be done” to sustain their survival.

We now know from frontier brain science that we can store beliefs held by our ancestors in our brain many generations back. That means many of the beliefs that form our experiences are not our own personal beliefs. They belong to generations of our ancestors!

If these divisions of work and spirituality beliefs were stored in your ancestors brains, then chances are you have inherited the Split Hemisphere Syndrome. The hemispheres of your brain might not be talking to each other, hence you could be doing what you love but struggling to make ends meet, or reach the financial wealth you truly deserve. Conversely, you might also be earning a decent living but disliking what you do. Work is just something you do to survive.

Reality Check

We don’t live in a time when spiritual people fulfilling their purpose are taken care of by those who go out to work. We do live in a time when people are wanting to be engaged in meaningful work as well as get rewarded for that effort in equally meaningful ways – ie: not struggling to survive but thriving and having the resources to do what we love. We are the generations that want it all. We want a life of purpose and meaning AND we want a life of financial prosperity.

Life Purpose FormulaIn order for us to do what we love and have the resources to do more of what we love, it’s imperative then to get the hemisphere’s of your brain containing work, reward and money talking to the hemisphere that contains love, purpose and spirituality. Removing outdated ancestor programming and connecting these hemispheres would then allow for the experience of doing what you love and the money will follow.

How Do You Connect The Purpose & Money Hemispheres Of Your Brain?

Connecting the hemispheres of your brain so you can indeed do what you love and earn the money you want, is a relatively easy process. However it takes a bit of explaining to do. More than this post will allow.

I invite you to learn more about Nicola Grace and the powerful work she does on a LIVE interview I did with her recently.  Click here to register and receive the replay. 

Abandonment: The High Cost of Low Self-Worth – Part 4

Last month we talked about some of the ways that the low self-worth program of “I don’t feel safe” might be impacting your life.

Today let’s talk about the program of “Abandonment.”  This program, running in the background of the subconscious mind, can cause all kinds of havoc!  If you’ve ever experienced being abandoned by a family member, a loved one, God, or friends, you know that awful feeling of being rejected, feeling unloved, worthless, completely alone, without help or resources to bring you any comfort.


Being abandoned is one of the most vulnerable feelings we can experience, especially as a small child, because we don’t have the physical, mental, emotional or financial resources to be able to take care of ourselves.  It makes us question everything about ourselves and our place in the world, and can have a lasting impact throughout our lives.

I have worked with hundreds of people who have experienced being abandoned in early childhood.  Some were adopted.  Others, by parents who were active alcoholics or drug addicts.  Some were left to physically fend for themselves at the ages of two, three, and four years old – some with even younger siblings they h
d to care for – while their parents went out to get high or drunk.  Then having to deal with the effects of scary, abusive or “overly affectionate” behavior from those same parents who were supposed to love, care for, and nurture them and were anything but.

Having to learn how to simply cope with the terror of being abandoned with no food, in dark homes, with no care giver can obviously leave profound imprints on those who have experienced this type of abandonment.  Many of my clients still struggle to feel loved, to be able to find an emotional connection to others, and to feel secure enough to follow their dreams and passions, and develop their inherent personal gifts.

Not everyone, of course, has experienced those types of abandonment extremes.  Sometimes being accidentally left somewhere by a parent or friend can trigger abandonment issues.  Having parents who are so busy with work, or a physical illness, that there is little time left over for children rearing can also feel like abandonment.  Having a spouse who travels extensively can make you feel like you’ve been abandoned, even if there is constant communication between the two of you.

There are countless ways that we can feel abandoned.  Some are big, some are small, but the energy of abandonment always impacts us in unseen ways.

One of the ways that being abandoned can show up with a real twist, though, is when we abandon ourselves.  If the energy of abandonment is not resolved, we can continue the pattern of abandonment by not taking care of ourselves – or even unconsciously physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually or financially abandoning those we love, as well.  That can look like:

  • Not eating healthy foods
  • Not getting enough exercise
  • Not getting medical or mental health care when we don’t feel well
  • Not getting proper medical or mental health care for those in our care
  • Not taking time to nurture and be with ourselves
  • Abandoning our dreams because “life gets in the way”
  • Allow other people’s agendas for our lives to become more important than what we really want for ourselves
  • Not knowing how or being able to say “NO” when we want and need to
  • Emotionally, mentally, physically tuning out of our lives through over-work, substance abuse, chaos, over-commitment, or any other type of addiction
  • Not being fully present and conscious of what we are doing – living anywhere but the present
  • Not saying “YES” to our education, dreams, goals, and gifts
  • Not following through – leaving things undone or procrastinating
  • Not knowing how to allow ourselves to really love and support ourselves, our spouses and our children
  • Numbing out so that we don’t have to feel too much – being emotionally unavailable
  • Unconsciously sabotaging a great career so that you get fired or feel like you have to leave
  • Unconsciously sabotaging your relationships so that you always feel left behind

These are just a few of the ways that we can abandon ourselves and those whom we truly love.  As you go through the next days and weeks, I challenge you to keep a journal and explore how you might be feeling abandoned by others or by yourself.  How you might be abandoning others.

loveIf abandonment energy is present, clear it.  Identify what other energies it might be triggering and clear those, too!  Then see how much more energy you have to infuse your life with what you want to experience.  Fill it with more love, more joy, more compassion for yourself and others.  Infuse your life with the energy of presence and purpose of connection and belonging.

As always, I love to hear from you.  Let me know how you’re doing.  Tell me how you’ve identified this pattern in your life and what has transpired since you’ve taken action to heal it.

If you need help getting to the bottom of abandonment issues and energies, consider joining our monthly membership club!  We meet twice a month for group clearing work!  It’s uplifting, healing and fun.  And it’s an opportunity to be part of a growing community of like-minded people who are just like you – wanting to live fully, joyously, abundantly and connected!  For more information click here.

Ask Michelle: What are Functional Skill Sets?


In the Quantum Soul Clearing Statements, at the very end, it says “Please apply them all as functional skill sets.”  What does that mean?  ~R. Rocca

Michelle’s Response: 

Functional skills are competencies that are transferable to many settings – life, work, relationships, love, finances, etc.  As you develop a list of the functional skills you have and most enjoy using can help you manifest experiences and circumstances that fit your gifts and talents and provide more life satisfaction.

Functional skill sets are  generally developed over time through repetition or practice that become automatic.  Ultimately, a functional skill set becomes a natural, every day set of skills that support your life, become a part of who you are and enhance your life.   Having functional skill sets helps you feel good about yourself.  Functional skills sets can be emotional, mental, physical, spiritual or financial.  They are internal resources and talents that you can utilize to make your life better in many ways.

Here  are just a few of the practical examples of functional skill sets:

  • typing
  • playing an instrument
  • riding a bike
  • communication
  • love
  • selling
  • analytical thinking
  • training
  • Interpersonal skills
  • coaching
  • advocating
  • scrap-booking
  • math skills
  • composing
  • compassion

So when you do the download portion of the Quantum Soul Clearing Process, and you get to the end, of the process, be aware that you are asking Spirit to make everything you’ve chosen to download a natural, everyday, skillful part of your life!