Self-awareness

Feeling Disempowered Programs: The High Cost of Low Self-Esteem – Part 5

We’ve been talking about some of the hidden low self-worth and self-esteem programs that limit our success, impact our health and well being and damage our relationships with ourselves and others.

One of the most sinister hidden programs is, “I Am Powerless.” This hidden program is linked to the program of “Worthlessness.” However, the energy is different. People running the program of worthlessness have a powerful belief that they are not deserving of anything good. People who have the hidden program of “Powerlessness,” usually believe that they are deserving of having what they want, but don’t believe they have the power or resources to obtain it. They don’t believe they have the ability to achieve their goals and dreams.

At the core of this program is that others are more talented, stronger, smarter, more resourceful, accomplished and more deserving than you. The underlying belief is that you just don’t have what it takes to succeed. That there are people, circumstances or hidden blocks that stand between you and your goals and success that you cannot overcome.

This program and belief is often created by childhood experiences such as having controlling or abusive parents. If you were forced to follow specific rules that didn’t allow you to think or act for yourself, you are at high risk for having this as a hidden program.

Recently I worked with a client who was very accomplished. She had two masters degrees and was working on her PhD. She is published, a phenomenal motivational speaker and therapist. She came to me because she was unhappy and felt like she was blocked from success. She felt like she could not speak up for herself, and she wanted to figure out why her business wasn’t as successful as she knew it could and should be.

At her corporate job she was passed over again and again for positions for which she was uniquely qualified. She said, “It’s like I’m completely invisible! I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong!” She was extremely unhappy and felt like she was stuck in a job she hated, but couldn’t quit because of the money.

Because she felt she was being overlooked so often at work, she began her own business and it would go well – up to a certain point. Then something would happen and clients would disappear and the money would dry up. She would rebuild her practice and watch the cycle happen again and again. She felt powerless to make the shift from working at the corporate level and making the leap to her private practice because of the money fluctuations.

Working with my client, we discovered that her mother had struggled with a life-threatening illness. So much time and resources were invested in the mother’s treatment that my client felt like she was constantly ignored and over-looked. Her emotional needs never got met. She felt resentful and angry because she felt invisible and unloved at times, then felt guilty because she knew how much her mother was suffering. And she felt guilty that she had no power to help her mother overcome the illness.

Eventually her mother did overcome her illness. She remarried a man who was overly protective of her mother and was very strict with my client. She was forced to maintain high grades, while maintaining the household chores and cooking for the family so her mother was never overly stressed. Any extra-curricular activities were not allowed because she had so many responsibilities.

As a teen my client was bullied by a group of kids at school. She was cruelly taunted, made fun of and even physically abused. No one intervened on her behalf. She simply endured the bullying until she graduated and went to college on a full scholarship.

What we uncovered was a hidden belief that she needed to be invisible. That invisibility was important to her safety and that she needed to not make any waves as a child so that it didn’t cause her mother any stress that would make her more ill. She felt like she was never in control of her life, and never had been. She felt that someone had always had more authority over her than she had for herself. The bullying had made her feel that she could not stand up for herself and that it was her lot in life to be the punching bag, door mat or servant for others. Deep inside, she felt that she didn’t really matter. She was even questioning her efficacy as a therapist.

This hidden “I’m Powerless” program was causing her to unconsciously sabotage her business. She didn’t feel like she had the power to change her circumstances. But even more, when she did make changes, they seemed to make her feel more disempowered her! She began questioning her value, her work and herself. The program and belief that she needed to stay invisible, kept her from being promoted at the corporate level. And it prevented potential clients from seeing her and how her gifts and talents could really help them.

Within days of clearing this hidden low self-esteem program, she was approached by a head hunter for a very high-level position at a different company. She chose to take the position and to continue to work on her entrepreneurial business as well. She raised her rates, and at our last session had a waiting list of clients who wanted to work with her.

How might this hidden program be running in your life? Where do you feel like you are out of control? What are the different ways you feel helpless to change things in your life? Do you feeling you don’t matter – or that what you do doesn’t matter? Do you feel trapped? Hopeless? Invisible? Without resources to change your circumstances?

As you explore these questions and investigate the roots of your feelings, make sure you keep a journal of all that you have been feeling and experiencing. Use the Quantum Soul Clearing Process to release the negative feeling that come up as you explore what is holding you back.

And if you need help, I’m here to help you find the hidden, underlying low self-worth and self-esteem programs that might be tripping you up.

Are You Unconsciously Harboring World Fears?

I got an email today from a friend that had a program that you could click on to tell you what world events were happening in the the year of your birth. It was absolutely fascinating! Reading it brought me to another level of self-awareness in my search for personal transformation.

It was definitely interesting to know that Ben Hur was the top movie of the year and who won the Nobel prizes. It was also interesting to know that was the year that Castro overthrew his government and set up a communist government in Cuba. There were facts and figures about the Cold War and our country’s response to it. There were tidbits of information about Africa, Singapore, Europe and our country’s continued rebuilding efforts in Japan. The top song was “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes” by the Platters (Interestingly, I can sing all the lyrics to that song!) And on television, “Bonanza” was a big hit!

There were two fascinating things that happened for me while reading this information. First, in my mind’s eye I was over-laying this information with scenes of my childhood. They were bright and vivid and full of movement. My grandparents were still alive and I could see the child who I was interacting with them in the garden, and in their house. I could see myself playing outside, riding a tricycle and exploring the wonders of nature. I could see myself as this kid who was carefree and learning about the world.

But secondly, and probably the most impactful thing that occurred was the feelings of fear and anxiety that kept building and building inside of me the more I read and watched. What I hadn’t realized fully until now was how much those world events had impacted me personally! Just by being alive at the time. Reading about the Cold War and Castro and other significant events brought up profoundly strong negative emotions!

I know that I was just a baby in 1959, but I had the epiphany that I was absorbing the energy and emotions of those events unconsciously and that they were still there just waiting to be re-activated. Perhaps I was picking up those emotions from my parents or from others around me. But the fact that just reading about the past triggered such strong emotions was quite an awareness! And that made me wonder how many of us are harboring global fear and anxiety in our bodies and wonder why we feel anxious and fearful?

I started to get up from the computer, because I was so uncomfortable, and then I stopped and realized that if I didn’t sit back down right then and there and clear out the feelings that had been triggered, I’d be in a terrible place the rest of the day!

So I sat down and ran through the Quantum Soul Clearing Process and in about five minutes the feelings of fear and anxiety had been removed and replaced with Joy, Compassion, Love, Self-Love, Nurturing, Kindness, Laughter, Life, Peace, Calm, Patience, It’s All Going to Be All Right., and many other positive messages. When I cleared these two emotions, it was like some unpleasant background “music” had finally been shut off! The relief was immense. And as I cleared, the sun began peeking through the storm clouds that have been dumping snow as if to tell me, “WOW! Great job, Michelle!”

My challenge for you is this: See if you can identify any fears that you might be holding that aren’t really YOURS. Let me know how I can support you in gaining clarity and freedom from negativity.

Remember, when you feel any emotional discomfort, stop, drop and clear!! There is no reason to have to live in any negative emotional state when there is a spiritual technology to help you live in a more positive, happy state. Take control of your life. Love and nurture yourself, because you are worth it!