What do you do when you know you need to make a change but are either too afraid to make it, or you’re not sure how to make those changes?
Most people don’t make changes in their lives until their situation is so painful that they can’t stand it one more minute! This is typically how decisions are made – whether it pertains to a relationship, clothing styles, new vehicles, careers, addictions, expanding waist lines, or even shopping for groceries.
The problem is that we wait to make changes until we are in a state of crisis, instead of consciousness. Being in crisis mode causes us to make decisions that are often not in our best interests. They are made when we are in a state of panic – that fight, flight or freeze state – which means we are literally out of our minds and completely reactive!
Seems kind of silly, doesn’t it? I have yet to meet someone who made a really good decision based on panic.
Yet most people just will not make a decision and do something until they are in some type of crisis.
Change is not something that most of us enjoy, because it involves risk. It means being uncomfortable. It means dealing with the unknown. It could mean the possibility of failing – or wildly succeeding; both of which come with their own fears and insecurities.
But is there an easier way to face and make changes that would make it easier to accomplish? Are there small things we can do that will help us stop procrastinating and making changes until they are at a critical stage?
Here are some tips that might help you think – and act – differently when facing your next big change:
1 – How do you feel?
Seems like a pretty straight-forward question, but are you really in touch with your feelings? Or are you a wizard at stuffing uncomfortable feelings? You know, out of sight out of mind?
When we are unconscious 
about our feelings, we are not living consciously. Our feelings are the language of Spirit. It’s how our Highest Selves let us know if we are on track or are off target.
Feeling awful inside lets us know that we are not in alignment with who we really are! Feeling good, centered and peaceful are signs that we are aligned with our life purpose and are on the right path.
2 – If you don’t feel comfortable inside, what is the problem?
Sometimes we are aware that something is off, but we can’t quite figure out what it is. Our subconscious minds are letting our feelings know that there is a problem, or something that needs our attention. But are you too busy to check inside and determine if you feel happy and peaceful or if you are anxious and afraid?
3 – Know if there is a problem that needs your attention.
This sound like a no-brainer, but if you (or a loved one) is dealing with an addiction, for example, you (or they) may not fully get that there’s problem! If you are not conscious that there is a problem (or you are denying that it’s as big a problem as it really is), look around you – and look within, as well.
Are you being controlled by something (drugs, cigarettes, chaos, food, sex, alcohol, other people, etc. Be honest here. Can you honestly say that you can go without _________ (fill in the blank) for the rest of your life? Or is it that you just don’t want to?
What I know – and have seen – is that there is a point in addiction when you can still walk away from the substance you are abusing. However, there is a certain point in that addiction when you cannot, and the addiction or substance completely takes over.
Often, you try to ignore that problem and keep doing what you’re doing, because another fix stops the noise for a few hours, days or weeks or even months. You tell yourself that you’re cured. You’ll never do it again – until the next time comes and it’s even more urgent. That’s when you can be assured it is a real problem.
4 – Know when it’s time to ask for and get help.
Once you acknowledge and identify that there is a problem, then you can decide how to handle it.
If it’s something small like grocery shopping for the next week’s food, you probably have the skills and ability to handle that. It’s making the time and perhaps changing your mind-set about grocery shopping.
Instead of being a chore or necessary evil you force yourself to submit to when you absolutely have to, could you think of a way to make it more enjoyable or even fun? Think if it as an opportunity to love and support yourself and your family through healthy eating and creative meal planning.
If it’s a matter of changing jobs or careers, consider doing some aptitude and abilities testing to see what really suits you. It might be just the ticket to putting you on a whole new career path that allows your natural gifts and abilities to shine!
Do you need some additional training or schooling to get into your preferred field? If so, start that process. If not, spend some time updating your resume. Do some research into the industry you are interested in and start making contacts. Consider talking to a recruiter or job-placement specialist to help you land your dream job.
If it’s a full-blown addiction you are dealing with, you owe it to yourself to find treatment and counseling that will help you work through the underlying emotional and physical issues that are the basis of that addiction. Please don’t assume you can do it yourself. That just sets you up for failure.
There’s no shame in asking for help! From housekeeping, to hair stylists, to addiction counseling, to career counseling, and beyond. The smartest, most talented people are the ones that get the most help to insure their success!
5 – Take things in small steps.
It is impossible to eat an entire 7-course meal in one bite. It would be absolutely foolish to even try! But you can eat that meal one bite at a time, right? And remember the old cliche: “Rome wasn’t built in a day!”
Break the problem down into smaller, bite-sized chunks. Are you dealing with a weight issue? Don’t obsess about the 80 pounds your physician says you need to lose. You already know that. Have that major goal in mind, but break it down a day, week or a month at a time!
Plan a course of action. It’s not just about calories in and calories out. That is old-paradigm thinking!
Find an integrative practitioner or ND that can help you uncover any hormonal, fungal, bacterial, viral, or parasitic infections that might be contributing to the weight issue. Ask them to test you for food allergies or intolerance that are causing inflammation and subsequent weight gain.
Or consider a three-week elimination diet that removes wheat, gluten, sugar, soy, corn, eggs, dairy and peanuts – the most common food allergens – from your diet. Millions of people who have followed this elimination diet have immediately felt better, eliminated physical pain, increased physical energy, and lost weight!
Move your body daily. You don’t need extreme exercise – especially if you’ve been sedentary or have joint or physical pain! Walk, dance, use a rebounder, get in a pool, simply stretch. But get your body moving so that you are increasing how effectively your metabolism burns calories, eliminates toxins, and uses your body’s fat stores for fuel.
Making a day-by-day plan of action, allows you to focus on achieving your goals, and one that can be easily executed. Plus, if you have a daily plan, you can more easily record and monitor your results so that it is easier to stay on task!
6 – Be Kind and Gentle With Yourself!
We are often our own worst critic. Some of the thoughts we think about and say to ourselves we would never say to another living soul! We are often careless and cruel to ourselves because we’ve either been taught that it’s OK, or that we’ve come to believe that it’s a way to motivate ourselves to succeed.
Nothing could be further from the truth! That inner destructive self-talk is standing between you and your goals and dreams. Please stop it! You are beautiful. You are smart and intelligent. You are loveable. You are worthy.
Don’t let anyone – especially yourself – tell you any different. Stop bullying yourself and telling lies, because they just aren’t true! Yes, we’ve all made mistakes. But give yourself a break – and HUGE hug.
Start today over. Start allowing yourself to love yourself. Start nurturing your dreams and desires. Start seeing yourself as infinitely capable and smart. Trust that you have everything it takes to succeed – because you DO!
7 – If you find yourself feeling down, unhappy, uncomfortable in any way, “Stop, Drop and Roll.”
- Stop doing what you are doing.
- Drop down inside and connect with your Divine Core Center (that’s in the solar plexus/belly area).
- Then Roll out the Quantum Soul Clearing Process™.
Begin eliminating and releasing the painful emotions and self-talk until you feel your energy shift and you feel much better. It won’t take long – and it will pay you MAJOR positive karmic dividends!
I would like to share a special gift for you to help show you how simple the process really is: Click here for the Eliminating Addictions Audio.
i really needed the reminder of not beating self up
For my past. Lately the lies I’ve told self have
Come to the surface, yuk!
The beautiy in if is realizing I am past my addictions
These healing sessions have helped as I have become
A non smoker 3 months now, all other substance
9 years , all the growth yet I have the sabatoging
Ego tell me more untruths as if to keep me stuck
In old patterns of self destruct.
Hard to go back to it as I’m experiencing another
Alternative, blessings to all on our journey