Struggle and the Energy of Change – Part IV


We’ve been talking about the energy of struggle and its hidden and not-so-hidden impact in our lives.  Struggle has been part of our individual and collective experiences since the beginning of life here on this planet.

Yet the energy of struggle is one that keeps us stuck, in pain and fearful about the future.  It brings great resistance to the energy, even the thought, of change and our ability to simply let go and move forward.

In a recent session with a client, I was shown just how deep the fear of change is for almost everyone – and what is lurking underneath change and fueling that deep fear and

resistance.  I have to admit it shocked me!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard clients say, “I just hate change!  I don’t do change well.”

When I’ve asked why, people have responded with, “I feel like if I make a change, it won’t be the right one – and then what will happen?”  Or, “If I make the necessary changes, am I really up to the challenge?  Am I good enough/smart enough/talented enough to handle it?”

People question whether they will be a success or a failure. (Both of those fears bring their own flavor of anxiety.)   They often wonder if the changes will even make a difference.  They are concerned that the little they already have might be taken away and then they’ll be left with nothing at all, if they make changes.

hope love dream faith trustWe can live with the devil we know, because we’ve been doing it.  But we’re not so sure that the devil we don’t know is any better.

What was revealed to me during that client’s session, is the deep distrust that things will actually change.  The resistance to change is about mistrusting that God or the Universe – or even you! – has your best interests at heart.

We feel that we’ve been lied to.  That the more we’ve changed, the more things stay the same.  We’ve put our trust in ourselves, in various gurus, or the church, or the system, or ourselves, and when we don’t see measurable results, we feel betrayed!  We’ve put our faith in something bigger than ourselves and we feel we’ve been let down and betrayed because the results have not met our expectations.

That betrayal seems to be the key to the resistance in feeling comfortable to make any changes.  And yet, we know we cannot stay where we’re at, because it’s not working and it’s just too painful.  And therein lies the biggest conundrum of all!

Pain, or even more pain because of betrayal. Whew! What a choice!

But what if circumstances and the energy of this new paradigm will now support your changes?

What if you can excavate the energy and the pain of past failures, betrayals and shattered dreams, to find the hidden treasure chest of what can be cleared and released, so that the new, higher energies available to us can actually support our dreams and desires?

time for change

How cool would THAT be??

One of the biggest keys to change is taking the time and effort to look within yourself, to dig deep, and discover what disappointments, fears, betrayals and damage happened as other choices you made resulted in less-than-stellar results.

Then you have the opportunity to release that old energy so that you have a clean slate from which to create.  Use the Quantum Soul Clearing Process™ to clear anything that you find.  Make sure you clear the energy of struggle and how it pertains to change.  Use your own wording, or use that phrase, which ever feels more relevant.

Once the clearing work is completed around your particular area of change and struggle, then you can re-examine the changes that you feel you need to make.  Does it feel like you have more options for change?  Can you see a clearer path to reach your objectives?  Can you accomplish your goals with just a small tweak – or do you need to make even greater changes?  Can you feel how much easier it feels to make those changes?  Everything looks different after you do your clearing work.

You can do this.  I believe in you.  And if you need extra help, I’m here to help.

In fact, between now and May 5th, I’m offering a spring special on private session work.  All private session packages are 25% off!  Send us an email to to start the process, and book your complimentary discovery session.

Here’s to releasing struggle and being able to make changes much more easily!


Are You Programmed to HAVE to Struggle – Part III

bigstock-Young-Stress-Woman-5137388-275x183March’s theme was all about the hidden – and not so hidden – program of “I have to struggle.” I even did a training on struggle and how it shows up in our lives – and particularly in our finances.

This month I am going to take this conversation even deeper. I believe that from the beginning of life on this planet we’ve been programmed to struggle for food, for survival, for shelter – for just about everything. This program has been passed down from generation to generation from the beginning of time! It’s like an insidious virus that undermines every facet of our lives.

Even our sacred scriptures reference this subject. Adam and Eve’s “fall from grace” resulted in their bodies changing from Light-Beings to being removed from the Garden of Eden and required to toil and work hard. Even their children suffered from this curse and fall and were no longer allowed to live in the garden with God.

Science also nurtures this theme through “survival of the fittest.” That the weak are eaten by the strong. Observers of nature watch and interpret the seeds of plants as they struggle through the layers of soil to reach the sunlight, where they then have to struggle to get enough water, nutrients and sunlight to survive.

Butterflies appear to struggle to emerge from the cocoon and hatchling chicks struggle to peck through their shells. That is what we’ve been taught – that there is struggle for survival everywhere!

But what if we’ve gotten it all wrong?

What if the butterfly and the chick aren’t really struggling? What if from their perspective they are simply awakening and stretching? What if it is a game and is fun? What if that process is strengthening their bodies and their connection to Source? What if that process isn’t really struggle at all – but merely a joyous breakthrough!? A stepping into their greatness and infinite potential?

Monarch ButterflyWhat if the seeds and sprouts can’t WAIT to stretch and grow and become part of the greater eco-system, to add their light and their color and breath into the world? What if each first spear of growth that emerges from the dirt is filled with the joy, the exuberance, and the knowledge of what they are here to do and are so busy getting to it, that they experience only deep pleasure, and deep connection to both the earth and they heavens? They don’t have time to struggle – they are too busy enjoying life!

What if everything we’ve perceived as struggle in our own lives is simply an old program that no longer serves us? We are burgeoning, joyous, Light-filled Beings housed by these physical bodies and our Divine state knows no struggle – only BEING! Is it possible that we’ve gotten struggle all wrong? That’s it’s not something to be avoided at all costs? That we don’t have to have all the stress and fuss and chaos and pain in order transform and grow? What if we can easily release the old paradigm of struggle altogether?

Imagine what your life would look like if you could view struggle from a completely different perspective. Instead of dreading what appears to be hard and insurmountable, that circumstance or event is, instead, an opportunity to become stronger and healthier. More deeply connected to your innate, Divine co-creative skills. That it is an opportunity to learn more about your incredible strength, your strength of character, and your resourcefulness.

What if you could just perceive struggle as an exhilarating game of skill and mastery?

What if you could simply learn to LOVE struggle, so that is was no longer struggle but something else entirely?

Take a few minutes and write down all the beliefs you have about struggle. Life is hard. Life is unfair. Life sucks. People suck. It’s so hard to make ends meet. The world is an unfriendly place. It’s hard to move my body because I’m in so much pain…. The list is probably quite long. But sit down for a bit and pull up all your limiting beliefs about the world that involve struggle.

I’m giving you permission to dive deeply into the pool of negativity. You can always get back out, clean yourself off and feel better. It’s important to acknowledge all that “shtuff” so that you know where you’re at. REMEMBER NO JUDGMENT! Simply acknowledge that this “shtuff” is in there. And most of it probably isn’t even yours!

We’ve been told not to go into the negativity. To stay only in the positive, because we are constantly creating what we are thinking and feeling. (Heck, I’ve even told you that in the past!)

But what I’ve found is that you can’t get to where you want to be until you know where you’re at! It’s the first rule in using maps. And what you’re creating is a map of hidden beliefs that has led you down one side-road after another, rather than where you’ve wanted to go.

So what if where you are at is with a list of 10,000 negative beliefs! That just means you don’t have 10,001 negative beliefs. That’s something to be grateful for. It’s a great starting point! But seriously, you have the Quantum Soul Clearing Process that you can use to chop up this list and make mince-meat out of it. You have all kinds of transformational tools in your tool kit to get your from where you are (again NO judgment!) to where you want to be.

Consider it a game or fun challenge to see how many you can work through each day. Think about it as the most delicious journey of the soul and when you get through that list, you will have become an ascended master of your existence! Better yet, think of it as a joyous stretching of your emotional, mental and spiritual muscles that will make you strong and healthy and whole. Isn’t that worth it?

Imagine yourself facing what might appear to be adversity with a grin on your face and joy in your heart, and a willingness to roll up your sleeves and PLAY! Isn’t that better, knowing that you get to choose whether it’s really hard or not, instead of that horrible feeling of dread when you think about struggle now? How different would your life experiences be from that place of powerful choice?

There’s nothing more exhilarating than solving a puzzle or winning! Eliminating struggle is how can you make your life a complete “Win” each and every day.

So what will you choose?

The High Cost of Not Practicing Good Self-Care

Low self esteemUp to now we’ve been talking about the different ways that hidden low-self worth programs may be sabotaging your life. Today I want to talk about really taking good care of yourself and what that looks like.

If you have hidden self-worth programs impacting you, you might be struggling with feelings of worthiness, not deserving good things, or believing that for whatever reason you should just settle for what life brings you, we need to talk! You may be unconsciously setting yourself up for burn out, exhaustion, unhappiness, feeling unsatisfied and disconnected, and even significant health problems.

Those little nuggets of self-defeating energy in your brain and body may be interfering with how well you practice good self-care. It was so apparent to me during my recent women’s retreat in Hawaii, that I have had a very significant – and very hidden – self-worth program running that had been preventing me from relaxing and enjoying my life! I would like to share a little bit of my new personal awareness about self-care (or my lack thereof!) with you to help illustrate how important self-care is to your full well-being and happiness.

Let me preface this realization with how I believed that I had been practicing pretty good self-care. Sure, I knew that there were times that I didn’t get quite enough sleep or exercise. That I hadn’t had a real vacation in over 15 years! That I put others’ needs before my own. But I could rationalize that I was busy, people needed me, I had things to accomplish. And then I’d take some time for myself. I’d take time off and get extra rest, connect with Nature, see friends, take in a movie, and relax with a good book. I felt virtuous that I eat well and have a good daily spiritual routine. And so I believed I was taking good care of myself.

I arrived a day early for my retreat at Lumeria Maui so that I could rest and be fully present for the week of transformation that I was coming to experience. After unpacking and hanging my belongings and getting something to eat, I made my way to the lovely deck that was just outside my room. I decided that I would spend some time meditating and centering before I went for the massage I had booked so that I would be pre-relaxed and able to absorb the healing energy of the massage.

The beautiful grove of pine trees, gently whispering in the slight breeze just off the deck area, immediately brought me to a state of soothed peacefulness. I could feel years of un-acknowledged tension beginning to unwind from my muscles and tissues, as I closed my eyes and began connecting to my Highest Self within. The sensation was absolutely delicious! The stillness of the grounds, the smells, shapes and colors of the different plant varieties, and the view of the ocean peeking through the trees brought me to a place of internal quietude that I had not been able to match at home.

As I sat there I could feel the individual cells in my body give a sigh of relief as they gave up their tension and their perceived need to be doing anything at all. I could literally feel something deep within me begin a long, slow, unwind, and I contemplated the real meaning of “vacation unwind” and how important it is.

20131025_180331As I continued to feel my body, mind and soul more fully unwinding and relaxing deeper and deeper into the feeling of Oneness, I began reflecting on how long it had actually been since I had experienced that particular level of deep inner peacefulness. I realized that it had been many, many years since I felt that level of contentment. Suddenly, I realized that I had only been giving lip-service to taking good care of myself. I realized in that moment just how depleted I’d allowed myself to become. And then the tears came.

Because I was under the illusion that I was taking just good care of myself, I was shocked to realized that it wasn’t really true! The level of self-care that I thought I’d been practicing was not nearly enough! I vowed, right then and there, to become more mindful of how I was actually treating myself and how much time I allowed myself to simply BE at different times of the day.

Of course, being away at a specific event that is designed to take you out of the everyday hustle and bustle is one thing – and being back in that everyday energy is quite another. But my experiences there gave me a deeper understanding of how precious the time we take for ourselves really is. And just how imperative it is to take exceptional care of ourselves!

Please, take a long, deep, hard look at how well you are really treating yourself. I don’t want you to beat yourself up if you find that your level of self-care isn’t stellar. I want this to be a very gentle nudge to see how you might have unconscious programming that might be interfering with your ultimate well-being. If there’s room for improvement, then take steps to make a few changes. If you are doing well in this area, please give yourself a huge hug acknowledgement acknowledge that accomplishment.

Let’s look at just a few of the areas where most of us tend to cut corners.

Do you REALLY get enough sleep? Are you getting the required eight hours of sleep that will allow you all the sleep cycles to fully run? If not, you are cheating your body of the ability to repair and balance itself. Also, did you know that if you are not getting into bed by 10 p.m. that you are working against your body’s natural rhythms and disrupting your hormone balances? This is a BIG one! Studies have proven that the two hours before midnight are worth more than four hours after midnight in quality of sleep and their impact on the physiology!

bigstock-Stressed-248446Are you eating the right foods? How much of your diet is dedicated to keeping you unnaturally stimulated? Do you depend on that cup (or more) of coffee in the morning to get you going? Do you binge on carbohydrates so that your blood sugar is revved up and then crashes, so that you start the cycle all over again throughout the day? Are you getting enough protein so that your cells can replicate properly and repair your body’s systems? Are you getting several servings of dark leafy greens throughout the day to alkalize and recharge your body? Have you gotten rid of soft drinks yet? (They are not really a food form, you know. And they are extremely dangerous to your bones, heart and brain.)

If you are eating the right foods that are designed to nourish your body, are you actually in the right frame of mind while you are eating, that will allow your body to relax and absorb the nutrition? This is so crucial to a fully nourished body! If you are not relaxed and focused on what you are eating, your body is more than likely to be in fight, flight or freeze, which means that you physically cannot digest your food and absorb the nutrition! Not only that, your adrenal glands are pumping out cortisol that is causing massive inflammation throughout your body, creating weight around the belly, and setting you up for an adrenal crash – not something you want to ever experience!

That means that if you are eating on the run, or very quickly, your body cannot utilize the food you just inhaled. Additionally, if you are not thoroughly chewing your food into miniscule particles, you are not preparing your entire gastric system to handle the food you’ve eaten. Your stomach and intestines have to work extremely hard to absorb the little nutrition it can.

If you have undigested food in your poop (please do check!) you are probably only receiving 10 -15% of the nutrition you think you are getting. That means you are sabotaging your metabolism a second time (adrenals spewing out cortisol is the first way). Because the body cannot absorb nutrients from undigested food and if it is in stress mode (aka “fight, flight or freeze”), it is going to hold onto every single calorie it can and store it for future use. And you are more likely to binge eat, because your body is actually starving for nutrition! (As a note, by purposefully relaxing and consciously focusing on my food, I’ve lost 8 pounds in two weeks, feel for satiated and have better energy! And I have not changed one thing in my diet, nor added any additional exercise.)

Additionally, undigested food is stored in the intestinal tract far longer than well-digested food because it is harder to move through the bowels. That means it is putrefying and causing unhealthy fungal and bacterial over-growth issues – also adding to weight problems. It can also cause intestinal permeability issues which can cause auto-immune disorders. So please slow down, be conscious of what you are actually eating, and chew your food thoroughly.

bigstock-Meditation-1931400 Are you taking time out to meditate, pray, or have some type of spiritual practice and/or alone time? This is critical to your health and well-being. And tough to do sometimes! However, this time out helps you re-center, find balance, find your connection to yourself and to the Divine. It is a time that allows you to slow down your mind, rest your nervous system and get out of chronic stress, allowing your entire body to relax, recharge, restart and unwind. This is most critical for brain health.

If you don’t have a specific spiritual practice, you can reconnect by taking a walk in nature, taking a 15-20 minute nap during the middle of the day, taking a long hot bath, or simply finding a quiet space with no one in it and closing your eyes while you allow your body to relax. Follow your breathing. Just allow yourself to BE with yourself. Notice your body’s physical sensations. If there is discomfort, ask it what it is trying to tell you. Hear it without any judgment or trying to control the discomfort. Just allow it all to be what it is. Make the discomfort your friend. Then allow the discomfort to release. If there’s peace, allow peace and well-being to expand.

Are you treating yourself like your very best friend or a lover would? Sounds like a funny question, but often we are our own worst critics! Treat yourself to fresh flowers, a walk in the park, a special treat of some kind. Take yourself to the movies, to dinner, to lunch. Buy yourself a small treat or present – even if it’s not completely in the “budget.” Talk nicely to yourself. Say things like, “You look beautiful today.” “You have such gorgeous skin!” “Honey you are looking HOT!” “You are so smart!” And make it sincere.

In fact, if you want to feel better about yourself, keep a journal and find a minimum of three things every single day that you really like about yourself. Here’s the challenge: Every day you must find something new to say – no repeats! Allow yourself to appreciate and glory in the unique, beautiful, delicious, fabulousness of who you really are! Learn to fall in love with yourself. You’ll feel better and others will be attracted to you like magic!

Let yourself off the hook. I don’t know a woman out there that doesn’t hold themselves to a very high standard. An impossible standard. You are beautiful just the way you are. You are intelligent, talented, good enough, thin enough, capable enough and strong enough for anything and anyone. Allow yourself to laugh at your mistakes (or learning opportunities), forgive yourself and move on.

facialsRelax and allow yourself to simply feel your feelings. There is no such thing as a wrong feeling! All of us feel helpless, hopeless, broken, depressed, unlovable, unhappy, etc., at times during our lives. It’s an illusion! I can’t say this long enough or loud enough: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!! You don’t need to be fixed, healed or saved. God/Goddess/Source loves you more than you know. If you don’t like the feelings, identify what you DO want to feel. Use the Quantum Soul Clearing process to move the energy and help you create the life you really want to live. You are in control. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. You are a Master Creator! And you are MAGNIFICENT!

These are just a few of the many ways that we can practice self-care. I’m sure you can think of hundreds of ways that you can love, support and enjoy yourself more fully. Please take the time to implement those things. Life is short. It is meant to be experienced and lived. And if you are depleted because you are lacking in self-care, it makes it impossible to live fully and achieve what you’ve come here to do. Please don’t rob us of your magnificence. The world needs you, your gifts and your talents!

And if you need help uncovering that magnificence or finding balance, I am always here for you.

Are You Afraid to Stand Out and Shine in Your Brilliance? – The High Cost of Low Self-Worth and Self Esteem Part 6

1378218_10151721293472017_1421150456_nI recently saw a picture of Waldo – remember him? As in “Where’s Waldo?”  He was all the craze in the 80’s. Where is he now?  And did anyone ever really find him?  He was kind of a slippery guy, difficult to find and never really front and center.

Waldo was one of my children’s favorite books – and I have to admit one of mine, too, except that after searching in vain through page after page, I’d invariably have a vicious headache!  Waldo constantly hid in large crowds, disguising himself as someone else.  Always trying to blend in and become inconspicuous.

He was a very crafty and clever little guy.  Just when you thought you’d found him – you’d be wrong.  All those look-a-likes!  Was he afraid of standing out?  Was he purposely trying to blend in and be like everyone else?  Did he feel safer being invisible?

Here’s my question: How have you been like Waldo? Have you been afraid of being seen and heard?  Afraid of standing out and shining your brilliance into the world?  Have you felt safer at blending in with the crowd, and then feeling angry and resentful that no one in the market place can really find you?

In order to bring your gifts and talents fully in the world, you have to consciously and subconsciously feel safe enough, and want to be unique so that you can stand out and be SEEN!  On the one hand, the world LOVES uniqueness – and frankly, on the other hand, the world has not really been kind to unique individuals.

Most of us who are message-bringers have spent countless life-times being persecuted, killed, burned at the steak, ridiculed, etc., for being “different” and than the crowd and standing out.  Literally millions of women (and men) were exterminated during the dark ages alone for being “witches” (aka different) even if their healing skills helped individuals and communities.

And, of course, there was Jesus.  Nothing like someone who was heralded as the Son of God being nailed to a cross (it doesn’t get much more special that that, right?!) to make you re-think how special you might be, and how dangerous it might be to bring a message of hope and love to the world.  If he was vulnerable, what makes us think we aren’t going to be crucified for our messages too??

It’s no wonder that we are a bit reluctant to be different, to be seen and heard, to shine our fabulous, unique gifts and talents into the world!  It just hasn’t felt safe.

But we’ve reached an awakening on this planet. Our souls will no longer be denied.  We are being called by the Greatness that lies within us to fulfill our soul’s purpose.  No longer are we willing to be, do and have less than that which we KNOW we are designed to BE!

Our greatest yearning – our calling and purpose – is to bring the magnificence of who we really are out into the world!  In this global awakening, we can no longer ignore the promptings of that Infinite Being that lives within each and every one of us, as it begins to stretch and arise within us.

The feeling of urgency to do something of great value is bursting within us.  And it is at direct odds with the desire to hide out so that we can still play it safe.  Often, that desire to not want to be seen is completely unconscious within us.  Mostly it looks and feels like a block to just not getting our message out.

Sometimes it looks like overwhelming fear when we attempt something that is outside our comfort zone.  I can’t tell you the numbers of clients who come to me because they cannot get past their fear as they begin to take their message out into the world.  They don’t understand why they aren’t being seen.  They don’t understand why, even with their best efforts, they aren’t attracting the clients that will pay them well for the outstanding work they perform.

Without fail, one of the hidden programs we find is, “It’s not safe to be ME.”  Usually there are other programs, just as powerful that are layered on, program after program, that also unconsciously sabotage their best efforts at success.

However, once they’ve been rooted out and resolved, I see those clients go on to have six- and multiple six-figure businesses in a very short time.  They are able to shatter that financial glass ceiling that was creating even greater feelings of failure and unworthiness.  Once that ceiling is shattered, they are free!  Free to serve the world, free to make all the money they desire, free to leave jobs that no longer serve them, free to allow their innate Divine gifts and talents to shine out into the world!

So what is stopping you?  Are you being your own version of “Waldo?”  Or are you determined to step into the light and refuse to let anything stand in the way of your brilliance and success?

If you’re ready to shatter your glass ceiling of limitation, I’m here to support you.  Let’s find those hidden determinants and remove them once and for all.  It’s time for each and every one of us to bring our gifts and talents into the world. Full out, no hold barred.  The people you are supposed to be helping need what you have to offer.  And the world needs us to be everything we are designed to be.  So what’s holding you back??

Learning to Feel Safe – The High Cost of Low Self-Worth and Self Esteem Part 3

iStock_000011640561SmallLast month we began a deep discussion of the power of our hidden low self-worth and self-esteem programs and how they are affecting our lives.  Today I want to talk about one of the hidden self-worth programs of not feeling safe, and some ways that might be impacting your life.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you feel safe?
  • Do you feel safe and secure in your home?
  • Do you feel safe as you drive your car or take the bus or the subway?
  • Do you feel safe in an airplane?
  • Do you feel safe and secure financially?
  • Do you feel safe and secure in your job or career?
  • Do you feel safe to be the REAL you?
  • Is it safe to try something new and different?
  • Is it safe to spend money or is it safer to save for “a rainy day?”
  • Do you feel like you’ve been abandoned?
  • Do you feel judged?
  • Have you been bullied or ridiculed?

If you have answered “no” to any of these questions, or “yes” to the last three on the list – or if other ways you don’t feel safe got triggered while answering these questions! – we may have identified one of the ways that hidden low self-worth or self-esteem  programs might be tripping you up.

iStock_000017959802XSmall“There are a lot of really scary people out there,” was something that I heard often as a kid.  Followed closely by, “You just can’t trust anyone!”  Perhaps you’ve heard those same sentiments, as well.

Those two statements begin programming that can have deep implications throughout your life.  They keep you from trusting yourself and others.  They create an energetic space of fear and distrust that is held in the unconscious mind that the world, in general is a very scary place.   It implies that you should be fearful of all the terrible things that could possibly happen – and your brain is then trained to look for fearful, scary people and events.  It creates an energy of anxious expectation that something bad will happen.

I’m not saying that there aren’t some people who act in terrible ways.

But let’s put some things into perspective.  The population of the US is about 325,000,000 people – give or take a few hundred thousand.  The number of violent crimes in 2011 (the last data available) was 1,200,000 and down by 9.7% from 2010.   That means that less than .0037 percent of the population committed violent crimes (providing that each of these crimes had different perpetrators).  Yes, this an profound over-simplification, and it doesn’t include property crimes, etc.

Property crimes in 2011 were 9.06 million (also down from 9.1 million in 2010) which means that less than .0279 percent of the population committed property (non-violent) crimes.  Again, a massive over-simplification (and also assuming that each property crime was committed by different perpetrators).  But perhaps you can begin to see where I’m heading with this line of thought.

These are just the statistics for the United States.  Other countries have significantly lower rates of crime.

two women huggingYes, things happen.  But the VAST majority of people (in the US alone) are not criminals!  In fact, they are “normal” people just like you and me.  Honest, compassionate, loving, hard-working, having hopes and dreams, doing charitable work, raising families, and doing the right thing day after day.  And the other countries in the world who have even lower crime rates are filled with people who are just as kind and caring as can be.

Again, this is a MAJOR over-simplification.  I think all of us know someone who is not a criminal but who might be cranky or unpleasant to be around.  But that doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person.  We all have our unique quirkiness and pain signatures!

But my point is that we’ve bought into the belief that the world is a big scary place where people are out to get us. Or hurt us.  Or abandon us. Or judge us.  Where did that come from?

Perhaps it came from our families – where home might not have been a very emotionally or physically safe place in which to grow up.  Perhaps it came from an experience of a violent crime that you experienced or observed.  Perhaps that feeling of not being safe is being perpetrated by the media to sell more chaos and confusion, and raise ratings and is being used by unseen groups or individuals, to take our power and control us by keeping us in fear.

But what if what we believe isn’t really true?  What if it IS safe to be out in the world?  What if it’s safe to speak up for what you believe?  What if it really is safe to take a calculated risk and be highly successful!?   What if…?

If we believe we are not safe, then we are highly reluctant to try new things.  We will sabotage ourselves in thousands of different ways to keep ourselves safe from feeling perceived hurt or harm.

If we are afraid of being judged and not quite measuring up in some way, it will keep up from speaking up and speaking our truth.  It will prevent us from bringing our brilliance, our gifts and talents into the world.

But what if what we believe isn’t really true?  What if it IS safe to be out in the world?  What if it’s safe to speak up for what you believe?  What if it really is safe to take a calculated risk and be highly successful!?   What if…?

light-bulbCan you imagine where we would still be if Thomas Edison hadn’t felt determined and safe enough to bring his invention of the incandescent bulb to the public?  Still in the dark!  There were plenty of people who pooh-poohed his invention, but he persevered on, because he felt secure enough in himself and his invention to speak his truth.  That one invention changed the world.  Just look at all of the inventions and what has evolved from that one single event!

If we don’t feel safe, we will sabotage or even push away relationships because deep inside we aren’t willing to risk being hurt deeply again.  For example, one client who was adopted by a very loving couple couldn’t get over the abandonment and betrayal of his birth mother giving him up.  That feeling of overwhelming abandonment prevented him from risking his heart fully.  He dated – but did sporadically.  However, subconsciously he wasn’t willing to risk someone finding out the “truth” bout him –  that deep sense of complete unworthiness that came from being unwanted at birth.

Yet consciously, he insisted he was ready, willing and able to find his soul mate and live happily ever after.  He wanted it almost more than breath itself!  We had to uncover the deep-seated programming and release the energy of it so he could finally feel the love and worthiness that ultimately led him to meeting and marrying the woman of his dreams.

Changing word Unsafe into SafeThere are countless ways that not feeling safe will undermine your best efforts at success, love, health and well-being.  Take a few minutes to think about yours.  Write them down, and then use the Quantum Soul Clearing Process to help you move past them.

I’m going to challenge you to take a moment and think about how your life would be different if it really was safe to be YOU.  To try new things.  To feel new things.  To really feel your feelings without definition or judgment.  To trust yourself.  To trust others.  What if it was actually safe to fail at something – and then try again and again until you are successful?  What if it is safe to truly succeed at something you’ve been yearning to achieve?

You deserve to have everything you desire – everything for which you yearn.  What’s really stopping you?

If you missed my call on July 30th about this extremely important topic, I’ll be hosting another one in a few weeks.  In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you.  What are the ways you might be sabotaging your best efforts with the low-self-worth program of “I don’t feel safe?”

The High Cost of Hidden Low Self-Worth and Self-Esteem Programs Part 2

Earlier this month we began the discussion of what hidden low self-worth and low self-esteem programs are and how they might be negatively impacting your health, wealth and relationships. We are going to be talking about this subject for the next couple of months, because I believe that this is the primary stumbling block to every type of success you desire! It is critically important!

I’d like to deepen that conversation today as we talk about the low self-worth program of “I’m Worthless,” and how it relates specifically to your finances, wealth and affluence.

worthless-bigstock-Graffiti-3329621The dictionary defines “worthless” as: Having no use, value or importance; good-for-nothing. Similar meanings are abandoned, baseless, barren, cheap, contemptible, despicable, inconsequential, inferior, pointless, nothing, trivial…. and the list goes on. You get the point.

This one TINY little low self-worth program, if running in the subconscious mind has the power to completely derail your financial well-being, not to mention the other parts of your life! In fact it could be costing you tens of thousands, if not millions of dollars throughout your life-time! What could you do with an extra million dollars or more??

Within our brains, we have synapses that create neural pathways of thought, feeling and action into our brains and our bodies. If we have a thought that get reinforced repeatedly, it creates stronger and stronger neural network connections. Literally, millions of brain cells and neural receptors fuse and wire together to create belief systems.

Just like any pathway that is created by countless feet walking in the same place, day after day on the earth; or little rivulets of water that create erosion patterns in the soil, our brains effectively do the same thing when we experience the same emotions over and over again. And just like in a torrential rain storm that creates deep streams and rivers in the landscape, our brains, when deluged with similar experiences and feelings over and over again also create deep, strong channels of electrical wiring within our neural cortexes.

Neurons that fire together wire together. That means that repeated negative feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness, feeling like you’re contemptible, good-for-nothing, etc., create very strong bundled neural connections of low-self-worth in the brain that then become standard operating code in our lives. It becomes the “normal” frequency that we don’t consciously feel until we bump up against a person or circumstance that triggers that feeling – and then we become reactive.

If your belief system is (or has been) reinforced through early childhood traumas of bullying, punishment, constant criticism, being shamed, not measuring up to a standard, we come to the conclusion that we are worthless, deeply flawed, inferior, and a failure.

Blurred-motion-of-woman-runningFailure is a natural, normal part of life.  It is how we learn.  What doesn’t work – and what does. No child learns to walk without ever falling down hundreds of times over and over again.  Each fall could be classified a “failure to walk.”  However, we never label the child as a failure as a walker.  We know that falling down is part of the process of learning to walk.  Eventually the child not only walks but learns to run, climb, leap and skip!  That’s a powerful SUCCESS!

The belief that we are a failure as a human being is different. It is a judgment (often picked up or imprinted onto us from others!) that wreaks havoc on our ability to connect with and utilize our talents, our gifts, our abilities. It demolishes our trust and faith in ourselves – and ultimately impacts what we believe we are worth in the marketplace!

People who run this particular low self-worth program often go through life feeling anxious that they will be “found out” as a fraud, even though they are highly successful, talented, accomplished and charming. Inwardly, they feel secretly empty, fearful and hollow. They wonder why their many accomplishments leave them cold and rarely do they believe all the praise for their success, because they “know the truth” about who and what they “really are.”

Most people don’t know why they feel miserable and unhappy, because that underlying program is “normal.” It’s invisible because it’s always been there. But it continues to erode their joy, happiness, contentment, self-confidence and self-love. At the extreme, the belief of worthlessness may lead to self-harm, self-destructive behaviors, addictions, or suicide. But most often it is expressed as nagging feelings of anxiousness, or feeling somehow inadequate – not quite measuring up.

Here are just some of the ways that the “I’m Worthless” Low Self-Worth Program impacts you in the business world and marketplace:

  • You continually under-value and under-price your services.
  • You charge a fraction of what your competitors charge, knowing you are more effective than they are, but unable to raise your prices because it doesn’t seem “fair” somehow.
  • You don’t feel confident enough to ask for that well-deserved raise.
  • You may take on the work tasks of other team members to make you feel better about yourself. Then feel profoundly overwhelmed and resentful because you can’t get your own job accomplished.
  • You get volunteered for everything and cannot say “No!” even though your schedule is so jam-packed, sleep is often optional!
  • You don’t know how to delegate. Everything MUST be handled by you. Otherwise it won’t be “good enough” and you’ll just re-do it anyway.
  • You are anxious, exhausted, overwhelmed and profoundly unhappy, even though you appear to be highly successful and have it altogether.
  • You don’t feel like you can take a vacation because….(fill in the blank)
  • You not only don’t practice good self-care, you’re not really sure what that means.

This profound conversation of hidden low self-worth and low self-esteem is one of the most important topics of our lives. It is my belief that every block to success, money, healthy relationships and love is because of our hidden low self-worth programming.

I want to invite you to join me on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 for a free 90 minute call to explore this topic even further. I’m not selling anything on the call – it’s all pure content. This is about bringing deeper awareness and understanding to this extremely important issue that impacts us all at some level.

Click here to reserve your space.

Be sure to share this with your friends and family so that they can benefit as well. It’s that important!

Before the call, I’d love to hear from you. Let me know how you your life has been or might be impacted by hidden – or not-so hidden! – low self-worth programming. Email me at Share your story and let’s get this conversation going!